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  1. #1
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    Angry Oh GOSH! Oh My...the stares!

    So I have been living in Nashville since August 18,2012. My means of transportation is the ever so famous. BUS!!!! I ain't(I know it is not a word. But who carescoughs) ashamed to admit. Anyhow, for majority of my time, since last summer, I have been wearing my hair in an array of protective styles in the form of extensions. I have gotten better at putting them myself but still a work in progress. My hair has thrive and in October, I had finally surpass the dread SL hair I couldn't get a way from in 2011.
    Anyhow, since it has been getting warmer around late march and april. I had decided to wear my hair out! Yeah ( My hair and I have a love hate relationship basically do to me having to be a TA and in the lab etc. I grow weary and run out of time to do hair.) When I get on the Nashville, MTA it never fails. That is right the , stares! And who does it come from...no other than, you named it black people. *deep sighs* I want to say get over it! Sheesh! Like why is it such a taboo not to have a relaxer or a long luxurious weave. I am looked at like it is a disease and that my hair needs to be combed, if look could kill and the whispers.
    One day this young girl ( not a woman despite her having a child), whispered to the bus driver about my hair, along the lines of "....that is not cute...she need to do something with it...comb it or something...." I got really pissed and had a face on instagram.

    In general, why are you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo concerned with another person hair however not your responsibilities. For example the young girl, child 2years old randomly sat beside my and was talking to me and offering me food. For all you know I could have done some harm to your child while you were so worried about MY HAIR . Not the mention the fact majority of these people who stare hairline start 1-3 inches from their forehead and the ponytails, ladies.... ( you already know). Or the fact that you have just settle and not trying to do better for yourself or your family. But more concerned about how another human being looks.
    While on the other hand I get majority of my compliments from other groups of people. GOODNESS! Stop looking at me like my hair is some "thing" or entity that must be tamed with a relaxer. As I always say, at least I have edges and hair that can clearly go into a ponytail.


    Thoughts? Oh, and by the way thanks for reading this...general rant and rave


    "Stop...think about...let it simmer.... The more you try to define, the more you realize that some things in this life of ours are indefinable....I am one of those people that one word can not describe me in my entirety. But if I would describe myself...it would be indefinable!"

  2. #2
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    Off topic:

    I LOVE the image in your siggy! #iwishihadfounditfirst


    As for the stares, yeah. They happen. Half the people who stare and criticize are insecure about their own hair (and other things in their lives) and feel the need to berate others' hair choices to elevate themselves. Sad but true.
    ~Love the hair you have~

  3. #3
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    Welcome to la vie au naturelle... I don't know where you were before Nashville but I'd bet money they were staring at your hair then too.

    I'm currently in mini-twists for the summer (my own hair) and I don't really think they call attention to themselves. However, when I wear what I call the stretched curly 'fro (think WNG with an added step) I definitely get stares. I got them when I was in Iowa and now that I'm back in an area where there are more black folks I expect to get a lot more. It comes with the territory (for better or worse).
    Hello, 2021. Glad to see you. Hope you're bringing us goodness and light this year!

  4. #4
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    So you heard one person whisper something negative. That doesn't mean that all the other people who you perceived were staring at you, were also being negative. You are ascribing a lot of emotion and intent to what were essentially, looks, and nothing more.

    And, if you are anything like the way I use to be when I first went natural, I bet you were not getting nearly as many stares as you thought you were getting.

    Put some earphones with your favorite music on and ignore the haters. The more self confidence you have, the less your hair will be on your mind, the more your brain will start thinking about other things, the more you'll be apt to going on with your day without even noticing those little whispers and stares here and there.

  5. Likes CoilyHairedBeauty, bigpuff 02 liked this post
  6. #5
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    I'm with CBL: You may be overthinking the stares. When I shaved of my first set of locs a few years ago, I was certain that people were staring at me while I took public transport to go home. It wasn't until I stopped wearing my uniform to work after a couple of weeks that I realized that they were not looking at my hair.

    That chick who whispered about your hair was rude. The problem is her, not you. Go about your business and eventually, you'll have trouble remembering how much people stared at you.


    Blog - Twitter - Ravelry - Pinterest
    To those of you who've been digging through Celebrerie archives and liking my posts, thank you

  7. #6
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    Thanks ladies,
    I guess I have been taking it a bit personal about the stares. I often get caught up, due to the fact....I do not wear my hair out often due to a variety of circumstances in my life ( that must change if I want the longest length possible for me). I am originally from Newport News, VA beside the Atlantic ocean. SO I am use to the diversity of people, from the military and college life so the stares do not happen at much. There are a variety of curlies up and down the east coast so, I guess to them it is normal. While in Nashville there is not as much curlies,but these thing take time and soon, I will be surrounded by woman with natural hair. IT fascinates me with the different textures.
    @MommieDearest Thanks! I often wondered what the imgae would be like with a woman with natural hair instead of strait or waves


    "Stop...think about...let it simmer.... The more you try to define, the more you realize that some things in this life of ours are indefinable....I am one of those people that one word can not describe me in my entirety. But if I would describe myself...it would be indefinable!"

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  9. #7
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    I use to live in Hampton. That area is a bit more accepting of nappy hair, to be sure. But we all get a bit self conscious when we first do something new with our hair. Once you get use to it, you don't think about it any more, and even when people are actually being stupid on the downlow, it doesn't cross your radar any more, because that style has become Your norm, and you'll forget that it may not be the norm to other people.

    I use to be really self conscious about my locs. But now, I don't think about them much any more, and I hardly notice what people are staring at until they ask me how long I had my locs, then it clicks.
    Last edited by coalblacklocs; 06-11-2013 at 02:35 AM.

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  11. #8
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    ^ITA with all of that. Although I'm not loc'd, I used to be super self-conscious of my loose hair. Especially when the humidity gets to it. Now, I only think about my hair when it's making me too hot & sweaty. I rarely pay attention to other people's reactions, although I've been aware of some stares and heard a few whispers. So much so that recently when someone had given me a compliment, and I totally ignored her, until she made a point to stop me and repeat herself.

    OAN: Reading this made me want to wear my hair out, though. I've been wearing twists and buns for the last several weeks, and now I feel the need to let my mane go free instead of keeping it all confined and "neat".
    Then again - it's too doggone hot and humid now.
    Last edited by CCmomof5; 06-11-2013 at 03:10 AM.

  12. #9
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    Yep. Maybe the stares are just genuine curiosity and wonderment. Maybe they wish the had the courage to go natural too. ***shrugs***
    Michael Nathan White * My big brother * 1953-2011* Happy Birthday Michael
    June 24th
    We really, really, really miss you!

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  14. #10
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    People will stare at things they have not seen before, are not used to seeing (unusual), things that shock them, beautiful things and things that amaze and confuse them. Rarely do they stare for very long at something that repulses them (they look then look away).

    I am amused wiith Black folk with relaxers/hidden naps who stare at my hair. I think deep down they know their hair is like mine and a) they cannot comprehend it b) cannot comprehend me wearing it out and c) wish they had my nerve ( lol )

    It's part of being napptural in an anti-napptural world.
    "The truth is, your natural hair, in all its texture, is the hair that is ideal for YOU.."
    ~Dee~


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