User Tag List

Thanks Thanks:  34
Likes Likes:  117
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 41
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    2,160
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    16

    Default

    Racism is a type of enculturation that impacts all of us. We have to find ways to transcend that, and yes, it's very hard. The seemingly easy way out is to connect with people that look like you, but that isn't the wisest choice because people are complex. The healthier option is to take people, individually, as they come.
    BC: Spring 2000


  2. #22
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Metropolis.
    Posts
    4,666
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    19

    Default

    This,
    The healthier option is to take people, individually, as they come.
    is definitely a matter of personal opinion and experience. Dealing with people who fatigue you on a day to day basis isn't healthy. And yes, someone has to fight the good fight, but black people certainly don't owe the world an education on how to transcend racism. Sometimes it's healthiest to just let people be ignorant. Just as an example, if one's personal experiences tell them that 8/10 white people are not friend material--then one might make the decision to forgo white friendships. Even at the expense of those 2 who could have been great.

    But it's all relative. No one has to be friends with anyone if they don't want to be, regardless of the reasoning why. It's not like family or co-workers. It's the ultimate relationship lol.
    the artist formerly known as Electra


  3. Thanks Serbbral, Urbanite thanked for this post
    Likes Vavoon liked this post
  4. #23
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    2,454
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    16

    Default

    While I certainly agree that no one should feel compelled to be friends with anyone they don't want to be, and that no black person owes anyone an education as to their culture, i feel its patronizing to assume that an education is necessary to form a friendship with a person of another race. Who says that the stranger trying to befriend you doesn't already know whatever it is you feel they need to know about black people in order to be friends with you? To assume that every white (or whatever) person is hopelessly lost in white privilege and in desperate need of an education before we can even hope to look in their direction with friendship in mind, is a stereotype, plain and simple. I feel that taking each person as they come individually need not be burdensome, it simply means don't assume that every person of another race needs to be educated. Take them as they come, and take a watch and wait stance. Should some vile racist filth or airheaded white priviledgisms come out of their mouths or are otherwise implicated, fine, move on. But not all are that way. Some will give you a pleasant surprise.


    I also definitely think location has a lot to do with it. There was a huge difference between living here in southern va in the rural areas vs when I lived in the northern area of va in the city. Huge. But at the same time, people do move down here from other areas sometimes. Their cultural background isn't caught up with this area, so their mindset is totally different and much more enlightened and agreeable. If I didn't give them a chance, I'd think they were just like anyone else around here. they look just like every other white local person in the area, you just never know.

    And don't get me wrong, sometimes I do get tired, especially in this area. but I'll never forget they day I rolled my eyes a little bit to myself when I took my kids to the playground and the only people there were a white family. It turns out they followed their gps from Canada and were on the way to Florida. They wanted a playground and somehow their gps found the playground around the block from me. (I didn't even know our little dinky playground would show up on gps.) they were so nice and gave my kids juice when their kids got thirsty, taught my youngest to kick a soccer ball, and we talked for a bit. Their whole attitude was so vastly different from the attitude of local white people, the people I mistakened them for at first glance.

    Anyway, I dunno, I know it's easier to protect yourself by closing yourself off, and it's ok if that's what some people feel like they need to do, but I just hope y'all know that there are people out there that will surprise you, and are as tired of how the media portrays things as we are, and who are also dehumanized because of the fact that media portrays white people as willfully clueless folks who don't care and make it seem like all of them are that way. They are out there. They may be few and far between in some places, but they are there.. Just ask some of the members here in interracial relationships, with people of other races that they love.
    Last edited by coalblacklocs; 08-27-2013 at 08:24 PM.
    Thanks to whoever panked me!

  5. Likes GalaxyGirl2012, Padme32, DeBe, Denny, whitney liked this post
  6. #24
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    23,721
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    45

    Default

    i feel its patronizing to assume that an education is necessary to form a friendship with a person of another race.
    i SO agree with this. this seems like it would be tiring to be friends with someone who would essentially require me to know (and understand) all their familial and ancestral history in order to get to know them as a human being and build a friendship with them. it also seems like a good excuse to not build relationships in general, just IME. setting up hoops, obstacles, tests, etc between yourself and other people is never a good way to build lasting relationships.

    To assume that every white (or whatever) person is hopelessly lost in white privilege and in desperate need of an education before we can even hope to look in their direction with friendship in mind, is a stereotype, plain and simple. I feel that taking each person as they come individually need not be burdensome, it simply means don't assume that every person of another race needs to be educated. Take them as they come, and take a watch and wait stance. Should some vile racist filth or airheaded white priviledgisms come out of their mouths or are otherwise implicated, fine, move on. But not all are that way. Some will give you a pleasant surprise.
    also agree with the above. i think for the most part, sentiments like those expressed in this thread might essentially do more harm than good. as earthen blossom pointed out
    Isn't it somewhat of a catch-22 to avoid an entire race of people yet expect them to have an intricate understanding of the nuances of your culture?

  7. Thanks SistaGoldenHair67 thanked for this post
  8. #25
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Metropolis.
    Posts
    4,666
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    19

    Default

    It would be patronizing to assume that every single white person ever is in need of that education. I don't think anyone in this thread has made that assumption. I'm not going to scroll back through, but I'd be surprised to find any blanket statements about all friendships with all white people (who's even met all of any people?). But I'll just speak for myself. Personally, I try not to live by absolutes. I bet I could be biffles with the right white person. I'm sure they're out there. I just don't care. I don't have the energy or inclination to slough through all the white people I KNOW first hand are at best, woefully ignorant, at worst straight up racist. My friendship circle will keep turning even if I never find the white other half to my bestie soul. (As a caveat, I'll add that if that bestie falls into my lap, I won't shove her off. But I'm not looking or making any overtures.)

    Take people as they come is a good life practice, all people are different people. Learning from our past experience is an awesome ability that often allows human beings to save themselves from repeated worlds of hurt. At the intersection of those two ideas is the fact that no one need open general admission for any relationship in their life. We are all discerning beings. Some people have requirements for friendships. Some people have requirements for how many requirements potential friends have. All of that discerning makes it more likely that we'll end up in solid relationships with people we genuinely enjoy.

    Seems like it should all work out in the end.
    Last edited by Princess Pamplemousse; 08-27-2013 at 10:18 PM.
    the artist formerly known as Electra


  9. #26
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    2,160
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    16

    Default

    I want someone to get to know ME, as my unique self. Yes, I am black, I am a woman, etc. But none of those things, speaking for myself, define me. A relationship just cannot get that deep if it's based ONLY on relating to me through my blackness or being a woman. Ultimately, you have to connect to the person as an individual. And, again, no matter what races/ethnicities are involved, this is extraordinarily difficult because relationships are just plain difficult, period.
    BC: Spring 2000


  10. #27
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    23,721
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    45

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Princess Pamplemousse View Post
    It would be patronizing to assume that every single white person ever is in need of that education. I don't think anyone in this thread has made that assumption.
    it's just the expectation that they are in need of that education. that undertone is pretty obvious in many of the replies i've read in this thread. but then again in my mind, i dont really see a difference between outright thinking someone is a certain way and waiting/watching for them to exhibit that behavior.

  11. #28
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    2,454
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    16

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GalaxyGirl2012 View Post
    it's just the expectation that they are in need of that education. that undertone is pretty obvious in many of the replies i've read in this thread. but then again in my mind, i dont really see a difference between outright thinking someone is a certain way and waiting/watching for them to exhibit that behavior.
    true, I guess living here has affected me a bit in that aspect. it's hard to explain what I mean when I say "watch and wait". I guess I don't exactly expect them to act a certain way, I just let them make the first move. Around here, white folk who deliberately and stiffly keep me at arm's length and are cool, neutral, and not particularly warm towards me when the opportunity presents itself, are telling me all I need to know. I tend to wait for others to make the first mood in general anyway. I'm just not a first-move type of person when it comes to friendships and relationships. I feel all people out first, regardless of their race. I guess that's what I mean by "watch at wait", it's really something I do with everyone. For me, watching and waiting denotes openness. I'm not assuming what the person is going to be, I'm waiting to see how they present themselves. The other option for me is to ignore, which means that i'm not open to that person regardless, i'm doing my own thang and could care less about the other person, and pretty much ignore all of their attempts at friendship towards me. For me, watching and waiting is a more positive option.
    Last edited by coalblacklocs; 08-28-2013 at 07:09 PM.
    Thanks to whoever panked me!

  12. Likes Beautifully Human liked this post
  13. #29
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Savannah, GA
    Posts
    28
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    I originallyposted my question about being white and raising black children in the parenting thread, but it seems like this might be another good place to look for feedback.

    I am 41 years old, white, and had never heard of white privilege until about a month ago. I'm still not sure what I think about it-- and I've been thinking hard about it.

    If it does exist for me (and I'm not sure it does, but I'm still reading and researching), then what impact will it have on my three black children? And how do I prepare them for that impact (assuming there is one)?

  14. #30
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    8,235
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    43

    Default

    What exactly about your white privilege are you researching? Whether you think it exists or not in general? or for you specifically? Most white people don't think they benefit from being white and therefore have a hard time understanding the nuanced ways in which white privilege does indeed exist. So if you're skeptical about it you won't be able to bring any meaningful ways of managing white privilege to your children anyway so your position on the matter would need to be clarified first.

    From a research perspective, the intricacies of white privilege and racism in general are difficult to quantify because they are only revealed in the thoughts, feelings, and articulations of victims. According to research that I've personally done on race/racism it is very difficult to determine “objectively” the nature of everyday interaction between non-visible minority and visible-minority groups. A number of studies have shown that those who are discriminated against appear to have more insight into discrimination mechanisms than those who discriminate. Therefore, the problem is that often times the voices of visible minorities expressing ways in which they experience racism are ignored, not believed or just met with skepticism or statements like "white privilege" doesn't exist. Just thought I'd throw that out there...
    Last edited by Beautifully Human; 09-04-2013 at 10:28 PM.

  15. Likes coalblacklocs, Earthen~Blossom liked this post
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion
    By GalaxyGirl2012 in forum New Era Politics 2020
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-09-2012, 05:03 PM
  2. white people tanning vs. black people bleaching?
    By grassisgreener in forum Nappturality Culture Forum
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 09-08-2010, 04:37 PM
  3. Black People “loot” White People “find”
    By jad2k in forum Nappturality Culture Forum
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 09-02-2005, 02:56 PM
  4. Do You Discuss Politics With Your Friends?
    By emerald06 in forum Other Life Topics Discussion
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 05-11-2005, 07:15 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •