Dealing with chronic anger, anxiety, and sadness- What's working for you?

[Ororo]

I've been reading a lot of the threads here about people dealing with depression, sadness, anger, loneliness and anxiety.

https://www.nappturality.com/forums/...ght=depression
https://www.nappturality.com/forums/...ght=depression

I know there is a thread on social anxiety that's still open, but I wanted to include other mental health issues.

Is anyone dealing with these issues that feels like they are making progress on them? I feel so all over the place with these things. I volunteer, meditate, and do sports, but I feel like I am at square one a lot of the time and so f*ckin angry; some days I feel like changes are taking root and things are getting better.

I fight myself so much with simple things like waking up, getting out of bed at a decent hour (no job yet to force me out of bed at 6:30 =) ). I don't want everything to be a struggle. I've been thinking about fostering an animal for a few weeks to get myself on a schedule and feel better, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to handle the work and will have to return them because of that. Honestly, as soon as I get a job, I am going to find a therapist. Paying as a cash patient is no joke. I still have this stigma about it, though. Like it is a sign of weakness to seek a therapist's help. Silly. I told my doctor about my anxiety and she told me about Covered California- I might be able to find affordable healthcare.

Sooo...are you someone who used to be sadangryanxious all the time and is now doing better? What has helped to pull yourself out of it?

[Dovechild20]

I think doing those things are key, volunteering, meditating (SO KEY!), doing sports, but they are not magic bullets. Nothing is. You take each day as it comes but you USE these tools that you mentioned, to give yourself time to observe yourself, a chance to move your body, a chance to impart happiness to someone else (it comes back to you double), as a way to live in that goodness instead of the sadangryanxiousness of it all.

I do experience sadness, anger, and anxiousness if I do NOT impart this kindness to myself. I need me the most. So, i volunteer, so I move my body in ways that i love and i meditate (SO KEY, it helps with the feeling that i wish I could just "stop and get off the world", because essentially i AM stopping and getting off, if only for a few minutes) and it helps me so much, but i dont look at those things as magic pills so that i will never ever ever feel sadness, anger, or anxiousness. They are tools to help me build up the bank of kindness so that when the sadness, anger, or anxiousness comes, its blunted and i observe myself instead of swirling around in that crazy tornado and going down with it.

The more kindness I give myself, the more forgiveness and care I can give to myself when I do have that bad moment, hour, day or week. Im quicker to get back and say "Huh, that's life and Im glad to be alive to experience it. Time to prepare for the good stuff again!"

Hope this helps!

[Napia Mia]

Ororo I'm sorry you're going through this. Many year ago now I was dealing with chronic depression. I'm moved back to my home town in 2002 with a salary close to 80 k. Resigned three months later and was never able to find a comparable job. I ended up going through a major depression where I often thought about suicide. To this day I am still severely under employed. Along the way I finally decided that if I were going to live, I had to really live. I decided to let myself be happy again. I slowly pulled myself out of that dark place back when I still had no job. Swallowed all my pride and took a reception is position. I sort of liked it. Then I started doing things to take care of me. Back then the health and fitness forum was hopping and such a Godsend. It motivated me to stay with it.

I eventually found my inner joy again. If you don't have some sort of chemical imbalance then you have to get to the root cause of you anger and anxiety issues and make peace. I pretty much decided that I couldn't let my job situation dictate my well being. So far I've been able to hold the depression monster away for nearly six years.

[lady-n-black]

So far I've been able to hold the depression monster away for nearly six years.

congratulations on 6 hard earned years of beauty!!

[Savvyone]

I use a 3-pronged approach, 1) prayer and my spirituality and a close group of sisters in the faith I can trust and just be ME 2) exercise and clean eating, I knew exercise was a mood booster but the mental clarity and freedom I feel when I lay off the sugar is PHENOMENAL! and 3) a licensed therapist....while I was going 2-3 times a month to see my her a few years ago it's now a few times a year...I can feel when I just need that extra boost, she knows me to the core, my family struggles, etc....I mean literally talking to my Mom 5 years ago would leave me a sad, tearful, anxious mess. She has not changed but with the boundaries I have put in place our relationship has seen brighter days.

[lady-n-black]

Ororo,

I definitely know how you feel. I am to be 30 in 2016 and am finally facing the reality of my situation square in the eye. For years I've gotten away with convincing myself "When I get out of my parents house everything will change".... "If I leave the church I will find the truth"..... "When I'm done with school I will feel better" ......"If I date women instead everything will change".....and well I have a stack of examples but you get the point. A few years ago I realized that I had the 'sadness' I didn't know how to place it, about a year ago I finally became comfortable with calling it what it was- Depression, and now this year for the first time in my life I am beginning to realize just how far back it has been with me, since I was a teenager and probably even before. I'd struggled with depression so long that there was no 'bad spell' it was the existence I'd grown used to. No wonder I'd always felt like I just needed to work harder, do better- I hadn't understood it was actually an illness.

Similar to how you're feeling I've had a stigma about visiting a therapist and felt ashamed that I even needed one. To tell you the truth I still wrestle with the thought, as women of color it's how were raised. That 'luxuries' like therapy were for 'them' and "Ain't nobody got time for that!" lol! I am coming to terms with the fact that I need to talk to someone because years of combating this darkness on my own simply has not worked.

I am with Dovechild and Savvyone in saying there is no one thing. For me personally-

1) I've been taking an herbal adrenal support supplement called Adaptra for about a month now, it was recommended to me by a Wellness Consultant at the local co-op where I work. Its great! I've noticed a dramatic change in my energy and also in my mood. I still get ill but I notice I am not so easily overtaken by those ill moods as I have been in the past. My only complaint with Adaptra is that it is 11pm and I am WIDE awake although I have to be up at 6am. Not cool but a side effect I'm willing to try to deal with. I also take a magnesium supplement called Natural Calm, it gives me the best sleep I've ever had (before Adaptra that is).

2) I've always been an introvert/loner but I'm recently taking extra care to keep myself from preventable negativity. That means no facebook, snap chat or social media of that sort. I know its not the answer for everyone but it is something I simply cannot abide and maintain a balanced healthy center. I have a cell phone, address and an email address so if they need to find me they will. It's also meant being very frank with some friends who were too liberal with their foolishness. I've lost the guilt of looking at my phone and occasionally ignoring calls, it doesn't mean I love my friends any less but it simply means I make myself available only when I am up to it. I've also come to terms with letting some friendships die. To everything there is a season, I truly believe that.

3) Movement. I am lazy by nature and have had a fairly decent metabolism so exercise wasn't necessarily a requirement. About 2 years ago I made myself begin Zumba and was happy when I liked it. Of course soon after I became bored. I started Yoga and it is a jewel. I'd dismissed it for years as frivolous soccer mom stretching but it is HARD. It is a personal practice and when you get on your mat and move through your flow it is you, your demons and your mat. The practice is personal to the individual and much like therapy there will be times you don't want to work through it and it will be frustrating but I always feel some sense of accomplishment when the hour is over and I've completed my practice.

4) I used to read all the time as a child, literally all the time. As an adult I have a love-hate relationship with reading because I feel that many of the things I learned as a young adult I am still working to unlearn and re-educate myself. Sometimes it is frustrating trying to find my own mind while analyzing the work of others. Nonetheless there are a few outstanding books that have made a profound impact on my confidence and I would recommend- Colonize THIS!, The Alchemist, Women and Madness, Woman's Inhumanity to Woman, Saving Our Last Never and lastly by my favorite author Zora Neale Hurston Dust Tracks on a Road....really anything by Zora is like medicine to me.

5) Prayer. Hands down, I don't see myself ever frequenting a church again but nonetheless I know my creator lives and seeking that connection (though I don't do it nearly as often as I should) is vital.

6) Eating well and balanced. I have such a sadistic out of control relationship with food that I often eat things that I really don't want and know are bad for me and I often eat them when I am not even hungry. I often use food as a mask, a comfort....you name it. I find when I eat well and mindfully I feel better.

7) Waking up early. I notice a difference when I give myself enough time to be on top of my day instead of under the weight of it. When I have the necessary time to move about and not feel rushed it makes a world of difference.

I hope I haven't rambled too much. Thank you for this thread, it is a comfort to see others facing the same thing when you often feel like you're by yourself.

[Savvyone]

I notice a difference when I give myself enough time to be on top of my day instead of under the weight of it. When I have the necessary time to move about and not feel rushed it makes a world of difference.

Yep, yep and yep!
BOOM!

[lady-n-black]

Savvyone, the Plato quote is beautiful and heartfelt. I've never heard it before but It made me stop and think. Utterly beautiful.

Ororo, I noticed after my long rant last night that this post has been up for about two months now. Have you found anything to give you any relief/improvement? Like you I LOVE animals but I fear that I won't be as good a steward as I should. Also I live in a tiny apartment...

[Ororo]

Savvyone, the Plato quote is beautiful and heartfelt. I've never heard it before but It made me stop and think. Utterly beautiful.

Ororo, I noticed after my long rant last night that this post has been up for about two months now. Have you found anything to give you any relief/improvement? Like you I LOVE animals but I fear that I won't be as good a steward as I should. Also I live in a tiny apartment...

Lady, thanks so much for the advice you have given. Honestly, I'm still struggling with this. I have ideas about what I should do to get past these chronic issues, but I procrastinate out of fear and out of feeling like I am stuck in a vat of tar. The fear is real.

I let this little anxiety monster control me and I have to either beat into submission or hug it out . You know those cigarette commercials where they show the cigarette as a miniature-sized bully controlling teens? Yep, that's how this feels much of the time. I'm bullying myself.

I am competing in a jiu jitsu tournament in November, though . I have been going to this gym since August last year and doing jiu jitsu since January, but I have been away for 2 months. Just did my first class in 2 months last Saturday.

I just want to be free of these feelings or learn to live with them while going after what I want in life. If I don't get a handle on it, then I will end up doing not a damn thing and regretting that even more.


I think you should get an animal anyway. People have big old dogs in small apartments, they just make sure to get them out of the house often. I'm scared of the commitment, even with fostering, and that it will feel like a burden. I don't want to make an animal feel worse with my depression and anxiety.

You know what? I totally feel you on staying away from social media. I have an app blocker on my laptop and phone and it helps. I have it even for this site. I know my green monster comes out when I see people are doing things and I let myself be stymied by these feelings. Honestly, I haven't had friends that I see on a regular basis in 10 years. In the last 10 years I have gone out with people or talked to them a few times per year. I am going to a meetup in October from Meetup.com. This is a big deal for me and I'm happy that I am finally really going out of my way to meet people and make some lasting friendships. I have met some people around my building, but nothing has come of me contacting them. That's OK, though. There are so many people going to this, I am going to make a real effort to get to know some people. So there is hope and there is action.

[lady-n-black]

I am competing in a jiu jitsu tournament in November, though . I have been going to this gym since August last year and doing jiu jitsu since January, but I have been away for 2 months. Just did my first class in 2 months last Saturday.



I am going to a meetup in October from Meetup.com. This is a big deal for me and I'm happy that I am finally really going out of my way to meet people and make some lasting friendships.

Jiu Jitsu, huh? thats pretty kick a**. You should feel like superwoman! I'm proud when I can reach savasana at the end of my yoga practice!