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Thread: Now I'm crying

  1. #1
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    Default Now I'm crying

    I had high hopes for myself when I shaved my head in November but now I'm practically in tears for being so frustrated with my twa. I'm 22 and I thought it would be a good idea to grow my hair to tailbone length once before I died. But I hadn't expected the emotional toll that having virtually no hair would have on me. For the first time in my life I have less than 6 inches, less than 5, 4, 3 inches of hair. I didnt even no what to do when my hair was ten inches. I feel like I'm failing at my hair journey and I'm not even 5 months in. And the only thing my twa does is sit there. I've tried twisting it, comb twisting finger coiling it. It either looks a mess or wont take at all! At this point I just want to scream because this must be some type of nightmare.
    For these reasons I have decided to seek the support of other Natural ladies through forums. This is the first one I've tried and I already feel soothed to a degree. But please someone tell me I'm not crazy and that this will start to make sense. That I dont have alien hair. It seems like everything thing that anyone else can do my hair wont even bulge a little. Or maybe I just dont know what I'm doing and have sunk myself into a hole here.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: I'm crying

    For some of us, our hair grows so slowly that it takes sometime to get length or even find products that make the hair better... perhaps getting braids or some other protective style will ease your frustration.
    Hope it gets better soon

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I'm crying

    Hey, there!

    I understand feeling like everyone else can do X, Y and Z and you're just sitting there with something with which you can't even try to compromise.
    You aren't failing at anything, though. My hair was natural for a few years before I realized how well it responded to protein-based products and things like apple cider vinegar, and things became easier. It also took time to figure out which products worked best for my hair. You'll get into a groove.
    I also suggest putting in a protective style like braids or something to give yourself a mental break. You are not crazy, and this will begin to make sense!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: I'm crying

    This IS part of your journey. You are NOT alone. About 99.999999% of us have been there. Lord, I could of screamed when I did it. I threw on wigs and falls for a year in public until I got used to it, due to my insecurities. Do what you need to do to feel good about you right now. Find YOUR reason to commit to this journey for YOUR health, sanity, whatever. Keep moving forward because you WILL look back at this time and reflect and most of all INSPIRE others coming behind you who will seek your strength and guidance.

    Nothing worth attaining comes easy. It's in the journey of the struggle that we realize our greatness.

    #press
    We did and you can too.


    B.A.N. (born again nappy) January 2005 and haven't gone back
    STILL keeping it knotty 1 day at a time ... since '03
    locked since '06
    KnottyAuthor aka Cheleski

    The Knotty Truth Series: The OG natural hair care book series on natural hair,culture & science

  5. #5
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    Default Re: I'm crying

    I know this may seem counterintuitive to the purpose of a hair board but...try breathing and just letting your hair BE.

    Black women in particular have been heavily programmed to believe that their hair always needs doing...that, especially if it's natural Afro-textured hair, it can't be left alone or else horrible things will happen. The miracle (yes, I said MIRACLE) of the Afro-textured TWA is that outside of shampooing and conditioning and patting it into a shape, you can pretty much leave it alone. The shorter it is (yes, I said SHORTER) the easier it is to care for.

    The first week after my first (yes, I said FIRST) BC to a TWA was a revelation. I still smile to think of it all these years later. Up until then my hair life had been a war with lots of battles lost and only a few battles won. And it's not like I had a huge head of hair...quite the contrary. I had to stop relaxing my hair to realize that the relaxers were a big source of my problems. After I recovered from the shock of having next to no hair on my head, I discovered that since there was not much there, there wasn't much to be done. And it was WONDERFUL.

    For the first time in memory I could literally wet my hair EVERY DAY and not have to go through 50-11 hoops to get it to look right.
    I could enjoy the rain on my bare head.
    I could sleep comfortably without rollers (up until then I had spent most of my relaxed hair life sleeping in rollers).
    I didn't have to worry about burning myself with curling irons (it was a burn that triggered my journey to natural).

    FREEDOM is a beautiful thing.

    Sure, as your hair grows, you'll be able to do more with it and because it's longer, it'll take more time to do. That time WILL come. For now, though? Take several steps back and get to know your hair AS IT IS. I have no doubt it's absolutely beautiful and it will STAY that way even as it grows.

    Good luck...
    Hello, 2021. Glad to see you. Hope you're bringing us goodness and light this year!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: I'm crying

    I agree with other posts. Definitely be patient with yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are absolutely gorgeous! Because you are! Say it out loud many times on many days until you believe it. Really important. It might even make you laugh a little

    In terms of styling, have you tried to use a sponge or afro/twist comb? You can create some cute curls or locs and rock them on your twa. Here are some examples of what I mean:

    The resolution on the second video isn't that great but you'll get a decent sense of how this could work. It might give you some variety in terms of styling.

    A quick point on braiding - make sure your stylists always take care of your hairline. It's very easy to get receding edges from tight braids. Otherwise they are an awesome option to give you a break.

    All the best!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: I'm crying

    here is the other video showing another option for twisting short hair:

  8. #8
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    Default Re: I'm crying

    Sorry to hear that sister. Hope you stay strong. Trust me it will get better with time!
    "Life is too short to have boring hair"
    "The hair is the richest ornament of women." - Martin Luther
    "Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like."

  9. #9
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    Default Re: I'm crying

    Quote Originally Posted by The Omega Prophet View Post
    I'm hoping research I've been doing will solve the problem of slow hair growth many African Americans suffer from.
    Hey thats great. Do share your research with us once it's completed. Good luck
    "Life is too short to have boring hair"
    "The hair is the richest ornament of women." - Martin Luther
    "Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like."

  10. #10
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    Default Re: I'm crying

    I learned so much because of this site. I have been relaxed and then natural over and over again. But I always come back to being natural. And I'm trying to stick with it. It can be hard. Especially when it's hard to find the right product for your hair. Don't give up!

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