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  1. #1
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    Default Hi all, Need Help please

    Hi all, I'm new here and I need help. I guess I'll start by telling you all my story.

    So I started to embrace my hair back in 2016. All my life I was told I had "Bad" hair. My mom would get frustrated because she did not know how to manage my curly hair and she chopped it all off when I was 4. Later on as I got older she figured relaxing it was better. Once I got more control of my hair at the age of 16 I stopped relaxing because I knew I didn't need that. However I was still subscribed to the idea that straight hair was "good" and beautiful hair. Around 23 years I was going through a lot of changes internally. One day I started to research hair care tips online and I stumbled upon Devacurl and the CGM and a bunch of youtubers who were in the process of or successfully transitioning to wearing their hair curly. At the time I was doing Brazilian Keratin straightening treatments. ( I still had no idea how to care for my hair or how to love it and I thought that a sleek look was easy to manage and my best option).

    Soon after all my research I got a haircut by a devacurl certified stylist. In these 3 years I've gone through many ups and downs with my curly hair adventure. I no longer blow dry my hair or flat iron it unless i'm going to a special event where I do want to wear my hair straight...which is very rare. However I still do color my hair. I've experimented with SO many different products and I am a self professed product junkie. For the past 2 years I have been very bad about regularly trimming or cutting my hair. I have a deep distrust of people handling my hair and devacurl salon visits soon proved to be too expensive for my poor pockets. My hair was thriving when I trimmed myself at home but of course since I am not a professional I gave myself a lot of holes and uneven haircuts.

    Then this fall I decided to color my hair to switch things up. I made the mistake of trusting a friend to do it since she colors her own hair and her hair looks nice and beautifully colored. It turned out horrible. I had to buy a box of color at the pharmacy to cover up the horrible color. Things seemed fine still but then I decided it was time for a professional haircut. I wanted to protect my poor pockets so I went to a beauty school and the guy who cut my hair is a professional who has been cutting hair for decades, but he has no expertise in curly hair. He did the best he could I'm not going to lie, He evened everything out and blended all the holes I had given myself.

    When I showed my loved ones they all hated the new haircut. The shape was very unflattering. I could not bring myself to hate the haircut or to love it either. All I knew then was that my frayed ends were gone and my head felt much more lighter and my hair could breathe. I told myself that I got the haircut I needed and not the haircut I wanted. Fast forward 2 months...my hair is a complete mess! my curls won't curl. My hair is completely unmanageable. Nothing and I mean Nothing works. Oil treatments, deep conditioning, protective hairstyles, satin pillow cases, NOTHING.

    Now I feel confused and concerned because it's like nothing I have experienced before in my process. I don't know if it's because of the cold winter weather or because I started to use head and shoulders shampoo after the haircut, the heat in my apartment, the haircut, the coloring, or if my hair is going through a process. All I know is that my hair feels wiry, dull, dry, it won't absorb any products and it won't curl, I have so much shedding and my ends are frayed again.

    someone please help me :'(

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Hi all, Need Help please

    OK first I am NO expert. Only speaking from similar experience from when I was younger and my mom experimented on my hair with many products and trends. So much so hair was done it was fried. I cried and cried because I didn't even like or want any of the products she was using on my hair. She took me too a few hair experts hoping they could fix it and they said the only thing to do is to cute it all off and start over again. Trust me I know it's not what you want to do or hear. And I would get a second, third and fourth opinion. I cried and cried and faked sickness so I didn't have to go to school because I knew they would tease me and call me a little boy.

    Second I don't recommend using head and shoulders, try to find products that are safe for our hair that isn't full of synthetic chemicals.

    And whatever you decide to do, let your hair rest, just leave it alone for a long while. No coloring or treatments. Just deep condition. Moisturize, add add protein when needed, wear a protective style. In the winter personally I will bantu knot it and alternate between baggy method, or wearing a satin bonnet and a hat, or a satin bonnet and a wig and I never use the combs that come with the wig. Just pin it down gently.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Hi all, Need Help please

    Thank you so much for taking out the time to read and reply to my long post. I bought a new shampoo and I'm going back to devacurl decadence conditioner for a little bit until my hair recovers. I oiled my hair and left it overnight. Today I did an olaplex treatment which I'll sleep in too, and I'll see how it looks tomorrow. I'm also going to switch back to washing more often in order to deep condition 2x a week. In the summer I used to wash my hair every other day and my curls were so healthy and bouncy.​I guess only washing once a week is not for everybody.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Hi all, Need Help please

    WOW, OK, breathe.... it will be OK. Let's figure this out step by step.

    When your friend did the color was it a two step process or one step? When the corrective color was done, was it two step or one step?
    How long did you wait between the time you washed your hair and the first color?

    I am asking because it sounds like overprocessing (damage).

    Pull out a strand of hair and stretch it between your fingers. Does it stretch at all or does it just break?

    Let me know.

    ~Dee~


    Quote Originally Posted by Monua View Post
    Hi all, I'm new here and I need help. I guess I'll start by telling you all my story.

    So I started to embrace my hair back in 2016. All my life I was told I had "Bad" hair. My mom would get frustrated because she did not know how to manage my curly hair and she chopped it all off when I was 4. Later on as I got older she figured relaxing it was better. Once I got more control of my hair at the age of 16 I stopped relaxing because I knew I didn't need that. However I was still subscribed to the idea that straight hair was "good" and beautiful hair. Around 23 years I was going through a lot of changes internally. One day I started to research hair care tips online and I stumbled upon Devacurl and the CGM and a bunch of youtubers who were in the process of or successfully transitioning to wearing their hair curly. At the time I was doing Brazilian Keratin straightening treatments. ( I still had no idea how to care for my hair or how to love it and I thought that a sleek look was easy to manage and my best option).

    Soon after all my research I got a haircut by a devacurl certified stylist. In these 3 years I've gone through many ups and downs with my curly hair adventure. I no longer blow dry my hair or flat iron it unless i'm going to a special event where I do want to wear my hair straight...which is very rare. However I still do color my hair. I've experimented with SO many different products and I am a self professed product junkie. For the past 2 years I have been very bad about regularly trimming or cutting my hair. I have a deep distrust of people handling my hair and devacurl salon visits soon proved to be too expensive for my poor pockets. My hair was thriving when I trimmed myself at home but of course since I am not a professional I gave myself a lot of holes and uneven haircuts.

    Then this fall I decided to color my hair to switch things up. I made the mistake of trusting a friend to do it since she colors her own hair and her hair looks nice and beautifully colored. It turned out horrible. I had to buy a box of color at the pharmacy to cover up the horrible color. Things seemed fine still but then I decided it was time for a professional haircut. I wanted to protect my poor pockets so I went to a beauty school and the guy who cut my hair is a professional who has been cutting hair for decades, but he has no expertise in curly hair. He did the best he could I'm not going to lie, He evened everything out and blended all the holes I had given myself.

    When I showed my loved ones they all hated the new haircut. The shape was very unflattering. I could not bring myself to hate the haircut or to love it either. All I knew then was that my frayed ends were gone and my head felt much more lighter and my hair could breathe. I told myself that I got the haircut I needed and not the haircut I wanted. Fast forward 2 months...my hair is a complete mess! my curls won't curl. My hair is completely unmanageable. Nothing and I mean Nothing works. Oil treatments, deep conditioning, protective hairstyles, satin pillow cases, NOTHING.

    Now I feel confused and concerned because it's like nothing I have experienced before in my process. I don't know if it's because of the cold winter weather or because I started to use head and shoulders shampoo after the haircut, the heat in my apartment, the haircut, the coloring, or if my hair is going through a process. All I know is that my hair feels wiry, dull, dry, it won't absorb any products and it won't curl, I have so much shedding and my ends are frayed again.

    someone please help me :'(
    "The truth is, your natural hair, in all its texture, is the hair that is ideal for YOU.."
    ~Dee~


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