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Thread: Hey Guys!!

  1. #1
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    Question Hey Guys!!

    Hi everyone I hope youíre all safe and staying healthy during these crazy times!! Hopefully you girls can give me some advice!! I have an 11 year old daughter. Sheís been relaxed since the age of 5. Her hair has never really took to the relaxers as well as it could. Even though she would get relaxers her thick 4c texture would never come out bone straight, but it made her hair manageable for me to style. Recently back in April of this year during COVID-19 I noticed a lot of breakage in the back area of her head. I think the last relaxer that I applied was a bad one (hair stores where shut down), and thatís what caused the damage! I put her hair into large box braids for a month and when I took them down the breakage to her hair had spread up to almost ear to ear!

    At this point I decided to cut off the relaxed ends of her hair to prevent further damage and to regrow my babyís beautiful healthy hair! Iím dedicated to this healthy hair journey and Iíve committed myself to no longer use relaxers or any types of chemical treatments on her hair. Iím a newbie at this, and itís not easy! So far Iíve been:
    1. Shampooing /conditioning
    2. Sectioning with Creamy Leave-In Conditioner / Shea Butter ->Twist out
    This method has been working extremely well for her hair! As a result not only has her scalp been extremely clean and healthy, but her hair is staying very hydrated!

    Iím running into problems when trying to style her hair! Iíve been trying to apply braids, or plaits with kanekalon hair, but it doesnít last. Iím not sure what Iím doing wrong. Iím still trying to figure out which products work best for her hair. Iíve tried blowing her hair out prior to styling it, as well as using the hot comb to stretch her hair, but:
    1. It straightens for a few minutes and then shrinks back up
    2. It wonít straighten, and it curls right back up.
    I used Janet 3X Carribean braid hair to Senegalese Twist her hair in its natural state using edge control, and Cantu Curl cream. After a day or so her natural hair shrinks and separates from the extensions, just like with the Kanekalon hair.

    Her hair is very short right now, so iím not sure what Iím able to do with it, but itís getting frustrating and very expensive. Iím watching so many different videos and buying so many different products, and none of them are working! Iím sorry for writing such a long post, and I apologize if itís confusing. Thanks in advance for any advice and support!
    Nurse.Qu3❤️

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Hey Guys!!

    Hey Lady! Thank you for reaching out and welcome!

    I am sorry to read about all those problems with your daughter's hair. The good news is that it is all fixable with the right methods, products and techniques. We can't go back in time and change mistakes but we can deal with what we have now and make it right.

    The hair loss you found initially from relaxers was exacerbated by putting her hair and scalp under the stress of braid extensions. The hair would have been so damaged that when the braids were added, the hair was either pulled out from her scalp or broke off in the braids (or a combination of both). It's kind of like putting salt on a wound. If in the future you see relaxer damage, don't put the damaged hair in a style that pulls at the hair or adds stress or tension. Instead you will need to use protein treatments, conditioners, protective styling without extensions, steam treatments and satin caps to protect and nurture the hair.

    I congratulate you on your decision to leave the relaxers alone. Thing is, transitioning is not only about what is on your head, it's about what's in it. Natural afro hair is manageable when it is handled correctly, with the right tools and products. Trying to force it to do what it doesn't naturally do, or force it into a texture or into a look that is not what it can do will set a person up for failure right away. Our natural hair is thick, kinky, coily. It cannot be compared to straight or curly hair. It may or may not even have a curl pattern and ALL THAT is beautiful. Your baby's hair will recover and both of you will benefit so much from the learning process and journey along the way. Just stick with it.

    Your current wash and condition routine looks perfect! I suggest that you go easy on the shampooing, you do not need to shampoo every time you condition. The shampoo you use should not contain sulfates or harsh cleansers.

    Her hair is going to shrink, that is what we do. Try to embrace that and make the texture work FOR her. Shrinkage gives us texture. It enables us to do styles like finger coils. I see you like the Cantu range. Cantu Curling Cream contains mineral oil, which is not the best thing to put on our hair because it locks out moisture but the product is protective which is good. You can add to it the Cantu curl definer to add some more hold if you need to.

    Is there any way you can stop using extensions for the time being? I know you want to help her get through this tough time but are the damaged areas really that bad that you have to put extensions in? Tension on her scalp at this time is really not beneficial to her hair. Can you send me a few photos so I can see what you are working with?

    ~Dee~
    "The truth is, your natural hair, in all its texture, is the hair that is ideal for YOU.."
    ~Dee~


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    Default Re: Hey Guys!!

    Hi Nurse! Dee is right. I've been natural for 15+ years. I've gone through big chops, bad experiments, damage, and have coached many others through the process. My hair has grown past bra strap length. My hair and the hair of others I know grows best when you nurture, nurture, nurture. Embrace the kinky curls. Don't hide, fry, or manipulate it to death. You can go broke buying products and I never give brand suggestions but sulfate free shampoos and great- something that will clarify and get a good conditioner. Don't overwash and cowashes are great- especially in the summer. I've always used simple oils for my scalp coconut/jojoba and thicker oils for my ends (castor). I usually get my oils from the grocery store. If its good for the inside of your body, its good for the out. Use nappturality boards because it has always and will always be my safe place for hair advice. Good luck! The hardest part of our hair journey is mental.

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