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  1. #1
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    Has anyone here ever had to send their child away to a relative for a while due to school or work reasons? I'm sending my daughter away to Jamaica this september to stay with my mom for a year while l go and do my masters. I've thought about doing it when l was doing my degree but l couldnt do it, just the thought of her not being in the house made me cry, l just couldnt do it and l managed to finish, even though it was hard as hell.

    This time, l'm not too sure either, part of me is saying dont send her and another part is saying send her so l can finish my studies and be able to make a better life for her plus she'll go and enjoy the culture etc of Jamaica. My biggest worry is the crime etc out there :dunno: I'm gonna miss her soooo much :wub:

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    I have never done it but probably would if I were in your situation it is a sacrifice you love your child so much but clearly understand that the brief seperation is in order to make a much better life for her when she returns you are doing it out of pure love and that is the hallmark of a great parent we sacrifice and feel pain for them to make theri lives better remember it won't be foreve you can call and write also Jamacia is a beautiful place she can have a great time w/ grandma and learn so so much I also think the the schools there might be better (us schools tend to suck) good luck and best wishes whatever you decide

  3. #3
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    Originally posted by bosshogg@May 17 2005, 09:18 AM
    I have never done it but probably would if I were in your situation it is a sacrifice you love your child so much but clearly understand that the brief seperation is in order to make a much better life for her when she returns you are doing it out of pure love and that is the hallmark of a great parent we sacrifice and feel pain for them to make theri lives better remember it won't be foreve you can call and write also Jamacia is a beautiful place she can have a great time w/ grandma and learn so so much I also think the the schools there might be better (us schools tend to suck) good luck and best wishes whatever you decide
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    IA, it might be an awesome experience for her. I wish someone would send me to Jamaica. <_<
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  4. #4
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    Originally posted by SaPhia@May 17 2005, 10:26 AM
    IA, it might be an awesome experience for her. I wish someone would send me to Jamaica. <_<
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    I KNOW that&#39;s right! On the other side of that, I kept my 5 yr old niece for a semester while my sister was in school in Florida...it was pretty tough on her, from the change in climate to change in school structure to just not having her mom around.

    That was a couple of years ago. On the up side, she really bonded with us while here, now she can&#39;t wait to come back. I&#39;m planning to keep her during the summer so my sis can take some more classes.
    Maturity is the ability to control our impulses, to think beyond the moment and consider how our words and actions will affect ourselves and others before we act.

  5. #5
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    Greetings Sis,

    I know that partner has a similar situation with his son. One thing that might help is traveling to Jamaica during a break or when time permites so your daughter doesn&#39;t feel distant from you emotionally and mentally. :wub:

  6. #6
    Autumn is offline Active Nappturality Member
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    Hey Yardiespice,
    I did
    I moved to New York when my daughter was a baby, we stayed there for 5 years, then when I was moving back to England, she went to Jamaica with my grandmother, her great grandmother to stay until I got settled.
    That was for about 8 months,

    She was not a stranger to Jamaica when she went there to live; she had been traveling there with her Great grandmother before, and great grandma use to take care of her while I was at work. So I think that made it alot easier for her.

    That was back when she was 6, quite a while ago, she is now almost 19 grown and doing her own thang :wub:

    Every summer after that she traveled to Jamaica by herself to stay for up to two months up until she was sixteen, she loved it, she was a little Yardie :P , it was her second home, knew it like the back of her hand


    but I studied for a degree back in..... well I graduated 3 years ago, I studied whilst she had just entered secondary school, it was an extremely challenging time for me and her, I wanted to sent her away too, but couldn&#39;t either, because of the guilt etc. also too far away, if I was in NY I probably would have.

    But in Hindsight I think I should have, it would have benefited her and myself in a multitude of ways.

    I totally agree with bosshogg, it is such an education, something not taught in any classroom or books, my daughter was able to roam free and do thing kids are suppose to do.

    Crime? That is everywhere, more crime here than in JA

    I know people who have done it & are not just natives of Jamaica

    Back then I think I put allot more pressure on my self because I was worried about other people&#39;s opinions of what a good mother was, and sending my child away was an indication of not being able to cope & not being a good parent.

    The truth of the matter was... I was having problems, coping .... Doing it all, but I was still a good mother

    Ultimately it is a decision you have to make for yourself and live with it, but you have to remember children feed of their parents, so if you feel guilty and worried, emotional etc, about that decision she will pick up on that and feed of it.

    Hope that helped

    Feel free to Pm me if need be

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    In the summer of &#39;95 I had to send my kids (2 older ones, baby wasn&#39;t born then) to stay with my parents in another city because my brother and I had gotten evicted from the apartment we shared. Long story short it was both our faults. I could have moved in with an aunt who lived in the same city as me but I chose not to do that because of health/hygiene issues (filthy house infested with roaches and rats, my son was a preemie and still was prone to sickness and infection) and got this temp job working at a plastics factory. I worked 12 hour shifts at night almost every single day that summer. I had a few friends whose place I could crash at every now and then and one friend who let me come over and sleep during the day, they were gone at work. So I was able to keep clean and everything even though I didn&#39;t have my own place. I saved most of my money for a deposit and rent on an apartment.

    It was hard but I knew my parents would be good to my children and I had sisters there to who helped out a lot. When I got my apartment, my parents bought them home and I cried and cried and cried. I had only cried once since they were gone, everytime I felt like crying I wouldn&#39;t let myself, I just old myself I was doing what i had to do. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I had to have a decent home for my children to live in. My kids didn&#39;t seem too traumatized by the separation, though, because they were with their grandparents and aunts, who loved them and spoiled them. But for a whole 3 months afterward they both wanted to sleep with me and followed me around a lot, even my son who at the time couldn&#39;t even walk without holding on to furniture. He was a big baby but I still took to carrying him around so that he would feel reassured.

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    That is a most difficult decision :unsure: . I would because going to school to better yourself is a benefit for her and yourself. I would miss my children too, but sometimes you have to sacrifice a little to gain alot. Good Luck!!!!
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  9. #9
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    Beautiful family, It is ashamed that so many of us mothers have to make decisions like that. Being a single mother is the only thing I hate about being a mother.
    Originally posted by Trula@May 17 2005, 04:42 PM
    In the summer of &#39;95 I had to send my kids (2 older ones, baby wasn&#39;t born then) to stay with my parents in another city because my brother and I had gotten evicted from the apartment we shared. Long story short it was both our faults. I could have moved in with an aunt who lived in the same city as me but I chose not to do that because of health/hygiene issues (filthy house infested with roaches and rats, my son was a preemie and still was prone to sickness and infection) and got this temp job working at a plastics factory. I worked 12 hour shifts at night almost every single day that summer. I had a few friends whose place I could crash at every now and then and one friend who let me come over and sleep during the day, they were gone at work. So I was able to keep clean and everything even though I didn&#39;t have my own place. I saved most of my money for a deposit and rent on an apartment.

    It was hard but I knew my parents would be good to my children and I had sisters there to who helped out a lot. When I got my apartment, my parents bought them home and I cried and cried and cried. I had only cried once since they were gone, everytime I felt like crying I wouldn&#39;t let myself, I just old myself I was doing what i had to do. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I had to have a decent home for my children to live in. My kids didn&#39;t seem too traumatized by the separation, though, because they were with their grandparents and aunts, who loved them and spoiled them. But for a whole 3 months afterward they both wanted to sleep with me and followed me around a lot, even my son who at the time couldn&#39;t even walk without holding on to furniture. He was a big baby but I still took to carrying him around so that he would feel reassured.
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  10. #10
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    Luvbeinatural, being a single mom was very difficult for me, very very difficult. Even still, when I started dating my husband in &#39;96 I was hesitant to get married. But am I ever glad I did!! Marriage is a whole &#39;nother can of worms sometimes but it makes parenting so much easier than when you are doing it single, least for me. Keep the faith sister, there is a man out there for you who will love you and your child(ren) and want to be with you forever.

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