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  1. #101
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    Here's an odd question out of left field. Ready? Okay...

    Has anyone thought that they had better sex when they were slimmer? I don't even mean significantly overweight. I'm thinking about going from the higher side of "normal" on the BMI scale or slightly overweight to slimmer.

    If you thought you had better sex, do you think it was because your size gave you an advantage or do you think it was because you felt more confident?
    Last R.elaxer: Dec. 2003 Big Chop: March 4, 2005

    "I know I'm not ordinary... Alright! I'm EXTRAORDINARY! What of it?" -Laurence of Arabia

    When you discover what happens when your thoughts, feelings, and actions align, you have discovered the secret.

    If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more. --Harriet Tubman

  2. #102
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    I think that although there is a medical definition of being overweight that the definition of what is 'fat' is gonna be different for everyone. One thing that I do notice with myself is that i'm way harsher on myself than I am on others as far as size. I can look at women of various sizes like 14, 16 or 18 and I think they look good but when I look at myself I just feel fat at a size 10. I think it's because i'm 5'2 and sometimes it feels like a fine line for me between being thick and being short and fat. I think that women who are taller definitely have an advantage of being able to carry more weight better. I figure if you can get away with it and still look good and be healthy then why not be a little larger than average. -- Tryce

    Locs 2nd Set: April 3rd 2012 - Yup they're back

  3. #103
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    Here's an odd question out of left field. Ready? Okay...

    Has anyone thought that they had better sex when they were slimmer? I don't even mean significantly overweight. I'm thinking about going from the higher side of "normal" on the BMI scale or slightly overweight to slimmer.

    If you thought you had better sex, do you think it was because your size gave you an advantage or do you think it was because you felt more confident?
    [/b]
    Whoa...LBell dodges to catch that left field fly ball...

    My body size had (and has) nothing to do with my confidence or enjoyment. Simply getting older and more comfortable in my body (regardless of its shape or size) helped. So I can say that my most enjoyable sex (to date) happened while I was technically obese.
    Hello, 2021. Glad to see you. Hope you're bringing us goodness and light this year!

  4. #104
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    To the people who responded by saying that they are heavy and do lead healthy lifestyles, but just accept their bodies for what they are.........I wasn't quite questioning that in my original statement. I am questioning where we draw the line for healthy body acceptance. Let's be real, a lot of Black women are okay with their weight and size when they really shouldn't be. No where in my post did I define exactly what was and wasn't too big. For some people that's going to vary greatly. A size 10 can look many different ways, as can a 2, or an 18, or a 24. I was basically saying that the "body type" argument has gone a little too far in many cases. If you are a size 12, 5'4'', are active, have no health issues, etc. then it's all good. Society may say that's fat, but I remember being that size and having incredible atheletic ability (this was in high school). My goal was not to have people become defensive about their size. I just wanted to discuss a serious issue that plagues our community.
    Bigger is better (of course I'm talking about hair!)

  5. #105
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    Like others, the issue is health. If you can be 5'4" at 300 pounds with a healthy blood pressure and cholesterol, more power to you. I'm 5'2" at 155 pounds. Way too much for my bone structure. My blood pressue is fine but my cholesterol is in the mid-200s. Not good and for that, I must be held accountable. To my family, to me, and to God (it's His temple). To celebrate the sinfulness in my life (I got this way from being a glutton with food), doesn't make sense. If I eat properly and exercise consistentyl, and still weigh 155, that's different and acceptable.

    Now if you're comfortable with how you got fat, and how you look, and your health status, I wish you well. I don't think we should place value judgements on fat people or phat people. As a culture, we have to love ourselves and want the best for all of us.

  6. #106
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    I have never been fat, but I have been as light as 110 and as heavy as 140, and to me it really made no bit of difference in terms of sexual enjoyment. Like LBella said, it has more to do with overall confidence and knowing what you like. I would add to that: chemistry, trust, overall health.

  7. #107
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    EMERALD06- My sex life is TOTALLY different when I am smaller

    I am currently a size six (at least today I am LOL) but when I was a ten it was because i was much less physically active. When i dont exercise consistently at least 4 days a week my sex drive plummets as does my energy for much else

    and yes i am a little less confident abt my body when i KNOW it isnt in its best shape because Im being lazy
    [url="http://public.fotki.com/bluesaki/"]http://public.fotki.com/bluesaki/[/url]

  8. #108
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    One thing that turns me off is when black people glorify fatness. It is a disgrace and no one suppose to be fat. I don't care how you are built. We are not genetically that way so it pisses me off when fat people are too embarrass to omit they need to lose weight and convince themselves that they look good. Fat people don't look good and it is not healthy. If you love yourself you would also be concern and care about your health and how you look. No one asking you to be slim they just asking why you are not doing anything about all that excessive weight and fat.

  9. #109
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    I don't think anyone wants to fat. If you had a magic wand and asked every obese person if they would rather stay obese or become thin I am sure 99.9% would choose thin. That being said I really have a problem with people who slam overweight people especially black women --because as far as I am concerned, this entire society is overweight. Black women have higher numbers than white women, because of that we have to endure more scorn and (of I forgot concern about our health).

    I spoke to a woman from Kenya a while ago and she said that when women were about to be married they were put in a little shack and fed fattening foods until they got fatter and then were appropriate for marriage. I suspect that having a heavy wife was considered a sign of wealth and power for centuries in rural and tribal Africa. Add that to the fact that the largest and least fat burning ancestors survived the Middle Passage and slavery, it would make sense that black women would have more than a little nudge toward being bigger.

    Now the 20th century comes along and now we are all too fat, our society hates fat people and we are all gonna die because of our fat.

    I have worked in the healthcare field all my life. One unit I worked on everyday we would have some baked goods there, not some storebought baked good but some huge cheese cake, apple pie, brownies baked by some nurse who was some kind of master baker or foodie. Every Single day. I would complain because every now and then on a special occasion its ok, but every day is ridiculous. I was told that if I didn't like it then I shouldn't eat it and shut the f up

    Those same nurses would go on about how disgusting a 400 pound patient was to care fo, but they didn't see any connection to their daily orgy of rich baked goods. We celebrate everything in this society with food. We have 24 hour supermarkets and convenience stores, commercials every 5-10 minutes on TV showing all kinds of delicious food we don't need, we are just inundated with food. There are a lot of emotional eaters (myself included) who fall prey to this excess of food and therefore they and I are overweight. I exercise and walk and I have gone on diets and joined gyms and I am still the same weight. So I guess I don't have the will or will power. I have not given up but I resent people telling me that being fat is just fine and dandy among black people and we should be concerned about our health etc etc.

    People who are concerned about fat people and our tragic health statistics should be concerned about the health of this entire overconsumptive nation and culture. We have polution, we take drugs we don't need, we drive cars everywhere, we are too sedentary, we have a lot of problems, not just black women all of us.

    I
    [url="http://www.brokedownoprah.blogspot.com"]http://www.brokedownoprah.blogspot.com[/url]

  10. #110
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    Since sex begins in the brain the correlation between sex drive and enjoyment depends on the old psyche. I have a friend who has put on a lot of weight since she got married (5 years ago). Now she is 30 years old, 18 stones (250lbs) hates her size but does not have the will power to do what needs to be done or is in denial not sure which yet. She wanted a gastric bypass but was refused by the doctor and encouraged to lose it the healthy way - exercise and diet. She wants a baby too but since she is not feeling good about herself her sex drive has plummeted and hence the old fashoined way of baby making does not appeal to her, so she wants artifical insemination. My friend has issues and needs therapy, the obesity is just a physical manifestion of a deeper problem.
    http://public.fotki.com/Lockyladyden

    Join date March 2004
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