Finding Courage.....

**EmoinBeauty** · 05-02-2007, 10:17 AM

Hello to all, I am new to this site and need some urgent advice. Ive been natural for 10 months now, but for that entire period I had braids in my hair (yes I know very damaging), and this past weekend I decided to where my own hair out. When I took out my braids my cousin put some flat twist in my hair, very cute...but my hair (after 3 days) was puffy and my twist were looking like I had them in for maybe 2 weeks (I guese because of the texture of my hair). I tried to unraveling them and the style was cute to me...but my friends were looking at me all crazy like WTF.....so I flat ironed my hair.....I just came from class and my hair is a puffy MESS!!! How do I find the courage to be myself......and Ive been trying to be natural for two years now....and there's no going back to perms.....HELL NO!! Thats not an option, I just need advice on ways to not give a damn about what people say....How do you all embrace your true self...knowing that most likely you won't be accpeted?

**NappilyEvahAftah** · 05-02-2007, 10:33 AM

Hey girl! :wub:

I'm gonna try to keep it short and sweet: For me, I try not to get caught up in the praise, nor the disses. There will always be nay-sayers Ã¢â‚¬â€ even as a napptural. There's always somebody ready to tell you how to do/look/be "right", according to their definition. So, as long as you're doing it right to them, you'll get praise. If you're not, you won't. Free yourself from all of it. It's all a trap.

Another thing: There's a conspiracy to keep black women bald and bewildered. Sometimes our "friends" can be co-conspirators. But the thing is, when you grow a foot of healthy, strong hair, they will STILL try to convince YOU that something's wrong with it, as they "seethe in secret", cuz misery/brokeness/insecurity loves company. Don't "apologize" for your hair, cuz it doesn't need an apology.

Once you fall in love with your hair Ã¢â‚¬â€ which will come, as you learn what your hair does/likes (and resist the urge to fight against it), the "voices" will grow...faint.

Peace (for real) and blessings!

**EmoinBeauty** · 05-02-2007, 10:40 AM

Thanx! Im going to try a natural style tonight and hopefully it will turn out beautiful! Tomorrow is going to mean a lot!

**sjgross2001** · 05-02-2007, 10:53 AM

Thanx! Im going to try a natural style tonight and hopefully it will turn out beautiful! Tomorrow is going to mean a lot!
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when I first took my hair out of braids people at school had never seen me natural before either and I got crazy looks too but after a while they get used to looking at you and then they start to appreciate what they see! It really all boils down to conditioning...they have been conditioned to think only straight is great so now you have to condition them to believe that nappy'nin is whats happenin' LOL.

**Discodumpling** · 05-02-2007, 04:00 PM

Hello to all, I am new to this site and need some urgent advice. Ive been natural for 10 months now, but for that entire period I had braids in my hair (yes I know very damaging), and this past weekend I decided to where my own hair out. When I took out my braids my cousin put some flat twist in my hair, very cute...but my hair (after 3 days) was puffy and my twist were looking like I had them in for maybe 2 weeks (I guese because of the texture of my hair). I tried to unraveling them and the style was cute to me...but my friends were looking at me all crazy like WTF.....so I flat ironed my hair.....I just came from class and my hair is a puffy MESS!!! How do I find the courage to be myself......and Ive been trying to be natural for two years now....and there's no going back to perms.....HELL NO!! Thats not an option, I just need advice on ways to not give a damn about what people say....How do you all embrace your true self...knowing that most likely you won't be accpeted?
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If you look in the mirror and are happy with what you see...who cares what other people see/say or think?

FYI: You just took your hair out of braids after 10 months your hair needs TLC.

**kinkyredtwistouts** · 05-02-2007, 04:16 PM

Thats not an option, I just need advice on ways to not give a damn about what people say....How do you all embrace your true self...knowing that most likely you won't be accpeted?
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Hi I'm a newbie also. :P

Sounds like you had a trying few days. The art of wearing a natural is accepting yourself for who you are, despite what others think is glamorous. I bet your hair is goregous, all you need to do is hold you head up high, and act like you haven't done anything different than any other day. If you can build the confidence to believe in your hair, others will see that, and follow suit! :wub: HTH

**aclove04** · 05-02-2007, 04:23 PM

MY family members CONSTANTLY asked me if im going to get a perm again? im like..HELLO?...I dont think they are trying to be mean...but they just dont get it! Even my family members with fine hair get perms....so they just dont understand...

What do I do/say??

I stay consistent with my reasons for being natural (if you choose to explainl, cause sometimes i dont

) but im firm in what i believe in, and i never second guess my self when im talking to them. It is a hard journey for some than it is for others, Im still "finding myself" in many other ways...but stop getting perms paved the way...anyway im rabbling...

dont entertain the negative, and talk to others with naturals....we all have atleast ONE thing in common

This site is great!

Good luck to you!

**cw_2007** · 05-02-2007, 04:48 PM

If you can build the confidence to believe in your hair, others will see that, and follow suit!
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So True!

**cimary** · 05-02-2007, 05:25 PM

EmoinBeauty, I agree with what everyone else has said. Good luck as you embrace your hair. It will get better everyday.

You did the right thing in getting rid of braids. I had braids for a while and it dried out my hair and it takes a while for the hair to get back to its normal self.

Right now, focus on deep conditioning and hot oil treatments to help the hair regain and retain moisture.

In terms of styling, don't be afraid to find a salon that does natural hair to help you style it. Don't be reliant on that though. Keep practicing and you will eventually get better at styling your own hair. Browse fotkis and find people who have similar length and textures and you can find a style you love.

Hang in there! And yes, you look more beautiful than ever with your natural hair and no one can take that from you! Stay stong!