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Thread: Hidden Naturals

  1. #1
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    I know....I know it's not my business...but it really annoys me.

    I have a friend who went natural about 1 month before I did my bc a year ago. She said all her reasons for going natural...she felt fake...it's not natural...trouble working out...black women are beautiful. You know all the reasons.

    Anyhow, I have seen her ONCE with a fro. ONCE. The rest of the time she is burning it straight, wearing weaves, wearing wigs, wearing clip ons. I personally think she looks foolish with that shiny fake barbie looking hair on her head. Since she first got it done a year ago I haven't seen it at all. I have no idea what her natural hair actually looks like.

    So I want to say "WHY ARE YOU NATURAL?" but I feel like it would be really out of place.

    I just find it really idiotic. Anyone else know a hidden natural in their lives.
    [i]"Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend."[/i] - Bruce Lee

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    Maybe she just didn't want chemicals in her hair anymore. Some people just don't want to harm their hair with the chemicals.


    I don't get annoyed with other people's hair decisions anymore. I got better things to think about. I can only worry about my own hair.

    Last r.elaxer: Feb. 2001
    Big Chop: March 15, 2002

    Napptural for life!

    Hair Album-Last Updated June 28, 2008


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    She's still killing her hair with heat but like another poster said...I wouldn't worry about it. If she's interested in healthy hair she'll ultimately get the picture...matter of time.

    i feel my zeal towards other folk really calming down. I'm just happy I'm doing what's right for my own hair.
    Nappy hair isn't burdensome. Dispel the myths early--blogging nappy hair care for girls.
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  4. #4
    mwedzi is offline Active Nappturality Member
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    If you never wear your natural hair out, I don't consider you natural, even if you don't have a perm. My opinion, I know not everyone agrees, but that's how I think. My mother doesn't have a perm but she never goes out of the house with her natural hair out; it's always in braids. I don't think she'd call herself a natural. Same thing in my mind if your hair is always pressed.

    But it's hardly anything to be exceptionally annoyed about. After all, we don't get to see most black women's natural texture anymore, so no different. Like I said, to me, while there may be a difference in that she's no longer putting the burning chemicals in her hair, the mind set is the same as someone who perms. That is, nappy hair is not acceptable to wear as-is. JMO.

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    Her reasons are legitimate! I'm natural and have been for most of my life. These days no one would really know...cause I stay in braid extensions. I don't like wearing extensions because I have a big issue with supporting that market + feeling fake. My reasons are personal, just like hers. I am not supporting her decision to fry her hair up but I will defend her right to do so.
    [img]http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x121/scifisupergal/ihateGU-1.jpg[/img]

    Thanks Dae-Min for the Henna information :)


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    Her reasons are legitimate! I'm natural and have been for most of my life. These days no one would really know...cause I stay in braid extensions. I don't like wearing extensions because I have a big issue with supporting that market + feeling fake. My reasons are personal, just like hers. I am not supporting her decision to fry her hair up but I will defend her right to do so.
    [/b]
    I'm no longer annoyed at random people. I'm far past that. It annoys me cause she calls me and asks me things about natural hair. Tries to relate to me and struggles I sometimes face, but she never really faces the same things cause she's never wearing her hair natural. And if she's gonna make a point of saying "black women are not appreciated, cause we are beautiful naturally so I refuse to relax my hair any longer". And than proceed to cover it up any chance she gets. I think that's an issue.

    She's been natural for longer than me and since she keeps covering it up, she still hasn't figured out how to care for it.
    [i]"Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend."[/i] - Bruce Lee

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    I'm no longer annoyed at random people. I'm far past that. It annoys me cause she calls me and asks me things about natural hair. Tries to relate to me and struggles I sometimes face, but she never really faces the same things cause she's never wearing her hair natural. And if she's gonna make a point of saying "black women are not appreciated, cause we are beautiful naturally so I refuse to relax my hair any longer". And than proceed to cover it up any chance she gets. I think that's an issue.

    She's been natural for longer than me and since she keeps covering it up, she still hasn't figured out how to care for it.
    [/b]

    If she is your friend...ask her why? Can ya'll get deep. Cause I know some of us can be sensitive. Tell her your observations about her hair.

    [img]http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x121/scifisupergal/ihateGU-1.jpg[/img]

    Thanks Dae-Min for the Henna information :)


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    Sounds like she has some issues with her "true" self despite what she says. BUT everybody doesn't progress the same or have the exact same mentality about what it means to be natural. Her hair is natural, but she may not be napptural...I consider them different things. Either way if she is satisfied with her decision, even as much as it might annoy you, there's not real reason to even let it worry you. Just limit your convo about natural hair with her if that bothers you.
    Starting the journey....again.



  9. #9
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    It's true. I feel like I should talk to her about it. We did at the beginning when she had her insecurities about wearing her fro. She thought she looked less attractive or unprofessional. She says she loves to change it up with the wigs etc... So I don't want to be a downer like "No wigs for you!!" but I think she should have excepted herself before covering it up. I got tired of her constant calls on the phone about "poor me I have nappy hair" like it was a curse or something. We even got in a small fight when I felt like I was just repeating myself and she wasn't trying or listening at all. She would be like "I'm just gonna get a weak perm. I'll tell them not to leave it in for to long. Just so it's not too nappy." I eventually said "Look it's your head, do what you want" We didn't speak for a little while than.

    I have nothing against those who were extensions either, my beef is her mindset. It's like she wants the title of a proud natural but doesn't want to deal with what it entails. Also her family were making comments all the time.

    I find it strange that they don't think the wigs look silly. They don't even lay flat against her head, they make her look like a granny and they look cheap. She's so classy too.
    [i]"Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend."[/i] - Bruce Lee

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    Maybe she just didn't want chemicals in her hair anymore. Some people just don't want to harm their hair with the chemicals.
    I don't get annoyed with other people's hair decisions anymore. I got better things to think about. I can only worry about my own hair.
    [/b]
    Exactly.

    That sounds like my mom, she boasts that her hair is 'natural' but she'll never wear an afro. Some folks just don't want to use chemicals.
    My fotki!
    ~small June update~

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