I Am A Big Fat Hypocrite... Now What?

**snellie** · 11-01-2007, 09:43 PM

Yam,

Have you tried DC-ing first then detangling? I find that cuts my detangling time down by about 60%.

**Mecca** · 11-01-2007, 10:10 PM

To minimize tangles have you tried washing it /detangling in sections? I think it is also to find products with good slippage!!! (edited to add) I forgot to say, detangling in the shower with a denman brush and managing the hair with ouchless bands in sections --has worked for me, making things easier. I must agree though that the more hair equals more work, I chopped some inches in June and I'm ready to chop some more right now.

best, m

**drizzle** · 11-02-2007, 02:53 AM

I let my hair get to about 6-7 inches. Then I couldn't take it anymore. I have little patience for my loose hair, so I started locs. Not saying that everyone feels the way I do, but it happens.

**thunderstorm** · 11-02-2007, 06:21 AM

I said that I wouldn't be one of those naps kvetching about how her hair has gotten to be "too much" for her. How I'd oh-so-quickly just cut it off or lock it and be happy as a pig in...

I'm such a liar!!! I love how my hair looks, but I deplore detangling it. It's not even long, maybe about six inches, tops. About one-third of it, the back third, is a breeze to manage. But the top? A nightmare.

I have fine strands and little patience. I hate have to take special care when shampooing it so to not further exacerbate the tangled-ness. I miss being about to vigorously shampoo and have the shower comb slide (pretty much) through my strands.

But I am vain. :P I :wub: my fro as it gets bigger and bigger -- by my strands have staged a rebellion. There's a knot at the end of EVERY ONE. (Yes, I'm being hyperbolic, but still.)

I'm torn, though. I miss my easy-breezy wash-n-go, which has been a no-go for the last month. But I'm fascinated by the idea of having one of those sitting-on-my-shoulders fros, practical or not.

Help me, those of you who reached a truce with your hair. What are you doing? Did you just cut it? Are you happy? I'm too old for this silliness!!!

Any advice or commiseration would be appreciated.

Thanks!

Yam
[/b]

first, you sound like you need a trim. though strand knots are common and impossible to totally get rid of, if you have numerous ones, a good trim may be in need.

second, consider finger detangling before you get into the shower. imagine gently pulling a cotton ball apart to reveal individual fibers. this is a good technique to use on your dry hair, particularly in your crown area. in sections, start at the ends and work your way up until you no longer see a lot of criss-crossed strands. THEN step into the shower and focus on cleansing your scalp and not so much your hair. when you scrub your hair and wrangle it around on your head, you are only putting the tangles right back in or creating worse tangles. i dilute my shampoo in a spray bottle with a stream nozzle so that it can spray through my thick hair onto my scalp. massage the shampoo (preferably diluted and with a little oil for easy spreadability and moisturizing) into your scalp with your finger pads. continue to gently pull your strands apart to undo the tangles. as the shampoo rinses out your hair will get adequately cleansed (unless you use a lot of products). if you need conditioner, apply a detangling one to your hair, placing more on the tougher-to-detangle crown area. let it set for about 5 minutes. before rinsing it out, do another finger-detangling where you gently pull a part the tangles. at this point, it should be really easy and you should have very few tangles (criss-crossed strands) left to pull a part. try to rake your fingers through from the ends up to the scalp. as you rinse, continue to separate your hair with your fingers, allowing the water to reach all the strands. when i do this, my fingers resemble someone's who is playing the harp. rinse thoroughly. i use the massage feature on my shower head as i do the final rinse. gently squeeze the excess water out. then apply a natural oil mainly to the ends. after the hair is damp (not noticeably wet to the touch) use whatever detangling tool to work through sections of hair from the ends to the scalp. this should be fairly easy since you have finger-detangled abpit 4 times prior.

after that, apply a leave-in to each section if you use one. then plait or twist each section or begin styling.

this has worked for me for a loooooong time and is the reason why each week (i detangle once weekly) i brush out hair no larger than a small cotton ball!

hope this works for some of you with hair as tangly as mine! :wub:

**LadyLibra** · 11-02-2007, 06:58 AM

^^^man, i was trying to explain to someone yesterday how to detangle with your fingers... you always use the most descriptive phrases ("cotton ball") and explain things so well!

**tenia0419** · 11-02-2007, 08:50 AM

I'm such a liar!!! I love how my hair looks, but I deplore detangling it. It's not even long, maybe about six inches, tops. About one-third of it, the back third, is a breeze to manage. But the top? A nightmare.

I have fine strands and little patience. I hate have to take special care when shampooing it so to not further exacerbate the tangled-ness. I miss being about to vigorously shampoo and have the shower comb slide (pretty much) through my strands.

But I am vain. :P I :wub: my fro as it gets bigger and bigger -- by my strands have staged a rebellion. There's a knot at the end of EVERY ONE. (Yes, I'm being hyperbolic, but still.)

I'm torn, though. I miss my easy-breezy wash-n-go, which has been a no-go for the last month. But I'm fascinated by the idea of having one of those sitting-on-my-shoulders fros, practical or not.

Help me, those of you who reached a truce with your hair. What are you doing? Did you just cut it? Are you happy? I'm too old for this silliness!!!

Any advice or commiseration would be appreciated.

Thanks!

Yam
[/b]

I am soooo sorry... I can't be much help to you because I am going through the exact same thing, from the easy breasy back section to the top and sides... For some reason those sections of my hair become so much more tangled and thick... I suspect it has something to do with my trimming/cutting practices.... I only trim once every 3 months or so... and I'm probably not cutting enough... I considering blowing it out and going to a hair cuttery to get it more evenned up... I haven't had a real trim/hair cut, since I stopped straightening a year & a half ago.... Oh well... Let me know what you do.... Hopefully one of us figures it out :^)

**Lady FT** · 11-02-2007, 09:22 AM

first, you sound like you need a trim. though strand knots are common and impossible to totally get rid of, if you have numerous ones, a good trim may be in need.

[/b]

I second this. I had my hair trimmed lightly in September and it really made a difference. It shed less and was easier to manage. Also, I am coming to realize that I need to brush or comb my hair more often. Basically I wasn't combing it at all except sometimes in the shower with condish in it. I was afraid to lose too much hair. But I think (I am just guessing) that not brushing or combing it out has caused shedded hair to get tangled in with the hair that is still attached and making it harder to manage my hair. When it was trimmed in September it was brushed out dry for the first time sine...well maybe ever since it's been beyond a twa. I wore it out all free flowing and Diana Ross like! Love it! After that the hair really didn't seem to shed any extra and was more manageable. I think I'll do this again when it's trimmed this month.

**AuNappturale** · 11-02-2007, 10:04 AM

I don't have any advice, but wanted to pop in and say I absolutely ADORE your hair & can't wait to see that 'fro sitting on your shoulders.

**cimary** · 11-02-2007, 10:47 AM

Girl, you know I love your hair! And I did see you at WTC rocking it and looking FIERCE!

I'm around your length, I think, maybe about 7-7.5" in parts. I'm definitely at peace. I keep the peace by doing the same thing over and over like clockwork... and not thinking too much about my hair..

I haven't had much tangling issues - i think it has to do w/ me being on a strict co-wash routine and using my DC as a leave-in. I basically slap it on after my wash, leave my shower cap on for a little bit, and then go on to styling. My hair is super soft all week until the next wash.

Maybe you do need that trim. It'll probably work wonders. Good luck, and make sure you do whatever is consistent with what you want for your hair in the long term, not how you feel right now.

**TalkingYam** · 11-02-2007, 03:16 PM

Breathe...

You know, sometimes you just got to take pause... don't do anything drastic.

Don't tell, but I left work early to go to Salon Seraglio at 343 Lex. I saw this woman on the PATH with the prettiest shaped salt-n-pepper fro. Being the nerd that I am, I complimented her and asked her where she got it cut.

Bruce Clark -- sounds like a superhero alias, like Clark Kent or Bruce Wayne -- hooked me up. He gave me a "real" fro. If I weren't starving and on my way to Popeye's right now, I'd take a picture and post it. :P

I don't know how much he cut off. Maybe two inches, I dunno, but I felt bad-azz when I walked out.

And on top of that, what he charged me knocked my socks off. I didn't ask about prices beforehand, figuring I'd just do what it took. I was pleasantly surprised.

But probably more important, the experience affirmed what many of you had advised me on... detangling techniques and so forth. My hair is not a nightmare to detangle -- I just haven't been doing it right and with love.

Thanks, y'all.