My New Kitty Hates Me

**Amunet** · 01-10-2008, 10:02 AM

My beloved 8yr old kitty Tabitha died in May 2007. I was devastated but decided it was time to get a new kitty so we got a 12wk old kitty named Jasmine back in November. My last cat was so affectionate, she would let me pick her up and cradle her like a baby. She slept in the bed with me (before I was married, DH didn't really got for that). She loved to be petted and have her tummy scratched.
But new kitty is the total opposite. Every time I pick her up, she struggles to get down. When I go over to pet her she will get up, move and immediatley start grooming the spot I petted like she does not want me to touch her. Sometimes she will climb in my lap and go to sleep, but if I touch her, she will leave and do the grooming thing again.
So my question is, will she eventually get used to me and be more affectionate or is this just her personality? I am treating Jasmine the same way I did Tabitha but Jasmine is just not responding and I guess I'm bummed out because I expected Jasmine to be a little Tabitha Jr.

**BlackPearls** · 01-10-2008, 10:19 AM

Awww a new kitty, how cute!! I luv cats too. She is 12 weeks old you say? How long have you had her at home?
I think she will come around but needs some time to adjust to her new surroundings.

**skittles04** · 01-10-2008, 10:30 AM

I definitely think that she will get used to you and that you should give it some more time. My kitten was 4mos when we adopted her and she could not stand to be held for more than five seconds

. Now at about 7 mons she has no problem with it. This is not to say that she allows me to "baby" her for loonnng periods of time, though. She is a kitten after all and they can have insane amounts of energy at times. I think that around the 2 year mark they start to exhibit the characterics that we usually associate with cats.

You should still try to interact with her as much as possible, though. Pick her up and hold her or sit and pet her each day for as long as she will allow. You'll probably find that her tolerance level will increase with time.

**Alastri** · 01-10-2008, 11:23 AM

But new kitty is the total opposite. Every time I pick her up, she struggles to get down. When I go over to pet her she will get up, move and immediatley start grooming the spot I petted like she does not want me to touch her. Sometimes she will climb in my lap and go to sleep, but if I touch her, she will leave and do the grooming thing again.
So my question is, will she eventually get used to me and be more affectionate or is this just her personality? I am treating Jasmine the same way I did Tabitha but Jasmine is just not responding and I guess I'm bummed out because I expected Jasmine to be a little Tabitha Jr.
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Sorry about your kitty. Losing a loved one is not a happy matter.

First of all, don't think that way. You're setting yourself up to be depressed! She may become more affectionate, or she may not. I work with kitties, they are a very varied bunch. Some cats just aren't affectionate, and no two cats are going to act the same way. Have you thought about maybe getting her a playmate? It won't necessarily work, but some cats do better with other cats. Also, sometimes isolating them helps. Don't play with her. If she comes to you, don't pay attention. We do it at work, but with physical isolation, and it helps bunches.

Mostly I would just say don't irritate her. If you know she doesn't like something, don't do it. If she seems more aloof than usual, leave her alone for a little while. Still try to play with her, just don't make her angry. I'm sure she'll come to like you more

**GalaxyGirl2012** · 01-10-2008, 12:07 PM

My beloved 8yr old kitty Tabitha died in May 2007. I was devastated but decided it was time to get a new kitty so we got a 12wk old kitty named Jasmine back in November. My last cat was so affectionate, she would let me pick her up and cradle her like a baby. She slept in the bed with me (before I was married, DH didn't really got for that). She loved to be petted and have her tummy scratched.
But new kitty is the total opposite. Every time I pick her up, she struggles to get down. When I go over to pet her she will get up, move and immediatley start grooming the spot I petted like she does not want me to touch her. Sometimes she will climb in my lap and go to sleep, but if I touch her, she will leave and do the grooming thing again.
So my question is, will she eventually get used to me and be more affectionate or is this just her personality? I am treating Jasmine the same way I did Tabitha but Jasmine is just not responding and I guess I'm bummed out because I expected Jasmine to be a little Tabitha Jr.
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one of my cats does the wash thing after i touch her. so of course i will sometimes wait until she's totally cleaned herself and rub her all over. i might even do it a few times because i'm an a*hole lik that sometimes :lol:

i dont think the kitty hates you, especially if sometimes she climbs to your lap to sleep sometimes. sometimes cats need their me time. some cats are more affectionate than others but that doesn't mean they don't like you. they just don't like you in that way

**Amunet** · 01-10-2008, 01:57 PM

Thanks everyone for your responses. It's only been 2 months so maybe she does need more time. When I first got her I actually had her and one of her siblings. When the other kitty was there she did not have anything to do with me at all, she just stayed with the other kitten. But my DH was not too keen on having 2 cats so I gave the other one to my cousin about a month ago. Since then, she has warmed up to me some but she's still standoffish. I still love her to death so I guess I will have to adjust to her personality.

**GalaxyGirl2012** · 01-10-2008, 05:08 PM

Thanks everyone for your responses. It's only been 2 months so maybe she does need more time. When I first got her I actually had her and one of her siblings. When the other kitty was there she did not have anything to do with me at all, she just stayed with the other kitten. But my DH was not too keen on having 2 cats so I gave the other one to my cousin about a month ago. Since then, she has warmed up to me some but she's still standoffish. I still love her to death so I guess I will have to adjust to her personality.
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i've had my stand off kitty for 13 years and she's still the same. but it still gives me ways to torture her. one way was to drag her under the covers right when i got into bed and make her stay there by holding her down. after about a week i got tired of that. but it must have been all a show because when i stopped doing it she's scratch at the sheets until i lifted them to let her under.

**snicy** · 01-10-2008, 05:19 PM

I got my cat from a friend. He was about 4 when I got him. All he did was hide under my bed and turn his back from me. I was a little annoyed about it because the first kitty I had was SUPER affectionate and when she died, I was DEVESTATED.

I didn't think my new cat would ever be as sweet, but after a couple of months, out of nowhere, he jumped on my lap, meowed at me for a while, curled up and went to sleep. We've been cool ever since. I guess he decided I was okay. :P

Just give the kitty a little time. She'll come around.

**alsaxon** · 01-12-2008, 03:18 PM

I agree with everyone here, give her more time. She will come around. The fact that she sleeps on your lap proves she likes you.

**notroz2u** · 02-08-2008, 09:26 AM

I have a cat named Misty that I have had for 6 years and she is just mean. She does not like to play, does not like to be pet. My little boy cat tries to play with her and she fights him.

Cats just have their own personalities. When I first got her I thought she just had to get used to me. If I had known she was so mean I would have left her at the shelter lol. She is the reason I got another cat. I am used to friendly cats,