User Tag List

Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Connecticut, USA
    Posts
    2
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    So yesterday marked the end of my first week having my hair all natural after my BC. It was great! My hair has never been softer and more healthy. So my 'fro is only about two inches, but I'm getting more attention than I ever did when my hair was shoulder length and permed or even when my hair was to the middle of my back in braids. I've turned a lot of heads and gotten tons of compliments. Did wonders for my ego.

    However...I have been getting a lot of double edged compliments. I'm sure they mean nothing by it but it still disconcerts me a little. Like I've gotten people who say, "Wow, your hair looks great! It's so soft and healthy, imagine how amazing it will be when you finally start straightening it again or when you blow it out!"

    I have long accepted that straightening my hair via blow out or flaming hot tools of hair torture will be a disaster and I certainly will not try it, and I already know what chemical straightening does to your hair. Those comments make me annoyed, but I can ignore them. What really has me a disheartened are the people who run up to me and say, "Wow! I love your hair! I remember when I used to have my hair like that, it was wonderful!" Then I look at their hair and it is chemically processed within an inch of its life. Then I get rather depressed and think that's going to be me in ten years.

    Which is why I come here. I have a few questions. For those of you who have been natural for a year or more, how do you stay natural? I know you can't crusade against every person who suggests straightening your hair, but how do you resist peer pressure to get your hair straightened again? I really don't want to be the person who runs up to a natural ten years later with my hair straight, thinning and falling out, saying, "I remember when my hair was soft and wonderful like that..." It seems kind of tragic to me...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    8,308
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    42

    Default

    First of all, CONGRATS on your first week!! Secondly, I wouldn't worry about the haters. No, you can't walk around with picket signs telling people to stop straightening... But you can stand strong in your beliefs... If you went natural because you understand that God's creation is beautiful napps and all; I think you'll be fine... I've been natural for seven years and I never once thought about going back to the crack. Stay focused on your goal to have healthy hair and it shouldn't be a struggle... And think about the tragic Gollum/Smeagol looking permies... You don't want to look like Gollum do you?? Leave "the precious" alone... :lol: :lol:
    ~The Artist Formerly Known as Kanye~
    My Youtube
    My Twittah...

    "Naw, shawty, eat yo breakfiss". (c) Intel

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    1,900
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    11

    Default

    Although it's been over a year since I relaxed, I've just started wearing my natural hair "out", so I'm still kind of a newbie in that regard. But for me, I've thought on more than one occasion how easy it would be to grab a couple of boxes of chemical fire cream and straighten it. I like versatility and the ability to change my hair, and I LOVE wearing my fro so that's what kind of keeps me on the wagon, so to speak. I will say that my family has been the most difficult for me, because they aren't really loving the naps. I'd send my husband, sis and mom pics of my puffs or my fro, and get backhanded remarks to downright rude ones (from my sis, who - in her defense - is a hormonal teenager). But once they all SAW my hair in real life and how soft it was, they liked it - or maybe it just grew on them, who knows. Either way, stick with it and ignore the rude comments.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Afrika-Amerika :)
    Posts
    13,557
    Reviews
    Read 1 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    50

    Default

    First off...congratulations and welcome to NP.

    One of the biggest ways to stay natural in a world that doesn't support natural is to find and hang on to those few who do support natural. If you don't have it around you, you have it here at NP.

    I don't know if you've had a chance to read through the forums (particularly this one, Napptural Hair) but trust that there are PLENTY of sisters who've been where you are. There are also PLENTY of sisters who are going through the same thing you're going through right now. Seek them out, read what they have to say, add your opinion...in short, use this forum as your support.

    Something else to consider whenever you have a moment of frustration or weakness: Remind yourself why you went natural in the first place. You yourself said it at the end of your post: You don't want to be a walking tragedy. The good news is you don't have to be BUT you have to understand that if you're like most of us on this forum, you will have to UNLEARN a lot of old practices/beliefs and LEARN/RELEARN some new practices/beliefs. Again, this site is the place to be to get educated...regardless of whether you want to grow your hair to toe-length, keep it close to your scalp, or wear it somewhere in between.

    Finally, I cannot stress this enough: You must be PATIENT...with yourself (as I indicated above) and with others around you. Despite what black folks tell you (and it WILL be black folks), you're not breaking any law by wearing your hair natural. Despite what black folks will tell you (and it WILL be black folks), your hair really is beautiful in its natural state. Understand that most people are conditioned to hate this stuff when it shows up on women's heads and in most cases this mentality cannot be reversed in a single conversation. It sounds cold to say it but it's true: Most black folks still have kinks in their brains regarding beauty and what's "acceptable" for black women. Use that knowledge as a filter when people make comments about your hair and then you can choose to respond appropriately.

    Good luck...and again, welcome. :afro:
    It's 2020...do you know where you're going to?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    1,652
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    For those of you who have been natural for a year or more, how do you stay natural? I know you can't crusade against every person who suggests straightening your hair, but how do you resist peer pressure to get your hair straightened again? I really don't want to be the person who runs up to a natural ten years later with my hair straight, thinning and falling out, saying, "I remember when my hair was soft and wonderful like that..." It seems kind of tragic to me...
    [/b]
    I know how you feel...Right after I BC'd one of my cousins told me how beautiful my hair was and that it would look so much better with a weak chemical fire cream...I've also had people ask when I'm gonna straighten my hair to see the length...all you need to remember is why you BC'd in the first place. All I have to do is have a flashback about my hair falling out and then I don't even think about doing anything. When people say comments to me I just kindly say "you know? I really love my hair the way that it already is!" And then I hits it down the street because at the end of the day you're the one that has to deal with your hair ups and downs.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    8,235
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    43

    Default

    Congrats to you Ribbon's

    You've been given great advice so far and to add don't expect so much of yourself right away. Give yourself time to adjust to the new experience of being your natural self. I remember going through so many changes in the first year alone as to what I expected of my hair and how I viewed nappy hair etc. And while it was a freeing time in my life it was also one that brought to the forefront all the subconscious beliefs I had about nappy hair that I thought I didn't have when I was a permie. So I was dealing with a number of things that I had to come to terms with about my hair in general. Eventually I let go of a lot of things and also just decided that I wasn't going to let outsiders dictate how I chose to love my hair and wear it in its natural texture. Once you get to full acceptance of your hair without all the baggage it won't matter how people approach you and what they tell you b/c you will know that what grows out of your scalp is beautiful regardless.

    Welcome to NP!




  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Atlanta
    Posts
    171
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Which is why I come here. I have a few questions. For those of you who have been natural for a year or more, how do you stay natural? I know you can't crusade against every person who suggests straightening your hair, but how do you resist peer pressure to get your hair straightened again? I really don't want to be the person who runs up to a natural ten years later with my hair straight, thinning and falling out, saying, "I remember when my hair was soft and wonderful like that..." It seems kind of tragic to me...
    [/b]
    Hi Ribbons,

    I am cruising into my 8th year as a natural and I couldn't feel more satisfied with my hair and my experience in getting to where I am as a natural. I have to tell you that one of the things that helped me most (in the midst of family and friends who just didn't understand) was to practice some POSITIVE AFFIRMATION with myself in the mirror at least once a day. I would get out my mirrors, make sure the lights were good and bright, and just admire my kinky coils from every angle imaginable...marveling at my hair's softness, the spring and body when I shook it, and the way it FIT me perfectly.

    Doing this little step really helped to buoy me when others tried to tear me down. I could recall exactly how my hair looked that morning or the night before- remember the feeling of joy I got when I was speaking praise to myself---and MARCH ON WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE!

    I pray you will continue in the walk that you've begun and that you exude happiness and positivity everytime someone looks at your naps!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Sacramento, CA
    Posts
    1,241
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    speaking from experience as one who has relasped back to the creamy crack (last CFC may 2006 after transitioning 10 months), the best thing you can do is to keep surrounding yourself with positive pro-napp folks. if you feel frustrated, just make a post here and youll get pages of responses from napps lettin u know that aint the way to go. or friends who really took a liking to your natural hair. anything. i know thats what helped me. and its funny...i never noticed how many natural friends i had until i BCed....basically all of them are CFC-free except...nope! they all basically are! how fun! hehe sorry off subject but yesh stay surrounded with positivity and dont be afraid to ask for encouragement because sometimes we all need a little pick me up.
    2nd Nappiversary October 30, 2009! Check out my fotki! Updated 3/5/10! Enjoy! No pw!
    Username: QueenVictoria

    Hit up my twitter! Username: THEVictoriaMack

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Philadelphia, PA area
    Posts
    449
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    I havent been natural for a year yet (only one month) but congrats! I remember my first week :wub: Ignore the comments that come out of people. Come to Nappturality for support and keep it moving. (I know its deeper than that, but give me a break Ive only been natural for a month, lol)
    Just had my 3rd nappiversary on December 26, 2010...Having a Nappy New Year!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    204
    Reviews
    Read 0 Reviews
    Post Thanks / Like
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Congratulations Ribbons...... Keep on Keeping on!!

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •