You have gotten some really great advice I definitely second those suggestions about exposing her to more ladies, little girls if you can who look more like her especially since she doesn't get it as much as you would like at school. I have a daughter (check her out at who is 11 and I just broke it down and made it plain for her. Told her flat out what relaxing does to the hair and scalp. It wasn't too hard because at the time I'd already fallen prey to notion that relaxing was the only way to manage her hair. I just took out various pictures of my hair, her hair, a mirror and showed her the progression.

Now it's not even an issue because she is probably the one of maybe two natural little girls in her school and all of my daughter's cousins and black friends have perms and she can see damage I was talking about on them.

Also like another poster said individuality is far too often taken for granted and I don't think having straight hair is really going to make her fit in any more perse with her white friends than she already does right now. I had straight hair when I was her age and quite a few white friends and it never made me feel any closer nor did I feel like less of an oddball around them because of it. This may be on the extreme end as I tend to go but I don't see the hair thing any different than if she came home saying she wanted to go the Michael Jackson route to fit in more.

I firmly believe that she has know beyond a shawdow of a doubt that she is beautiful no matter how curly, straight or nappy her hair is. That is something she needs to hear and see frequently especially during this frustrating time in her life and it only gets more complicated. (Girls are a trip, no wonder I don't have that many friends, LOL) Trust me, if it is wasn't the hair thing it would be something else.

Just keep doing what you're doing stand firm, love hard and lay off the heat.

One more piece of advice don't underestimate the power of shrinkage. My daughter's shrinkage is twice that of mine. When her hair was loose and stretched it touched the middle of her back in most places but snaps back all the way up to ear with her springy coils.

Be encouraged Sis! :wub: