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  1. #1
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    :help: I need some/any advice for my dd's hair. She is years old and has never had a chemical fire. She most recently has wanted c.f. for her hair and I have told her that she doesn't need it; her hair is beautiful like it is, etc. She wants her hair to be long and straight like most all of her peers (yes, she has mostly Caucasian friends and the school she goes to is probably 10-15%^minorities. So I try to set an example for her but its getting harder. Plus her hair seems like is hasn't grown any in over 2 years. I am using mostly all natural products and avoiding all the crap. I don't know what else to do. I really think if I could get her hair to start growing it would help her love her hair more... Please give any and all feedback

    ETA: she is 8 years old

  2. #2
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    Wink

    Getting a re.laxer isn't going to make it grow.

    How about putting her hair in braids for a while (with her own hair) or cornrows in the front and braids hanging in the back. That will give her some hang time. Plus it will help with length retention and she can get some of the length that she wants. Remember to keep reminding her of how beautiful and versatile her natural hair is.

    Also, you might want to show her pics of the young ladies in these threads. It might encourage her some.

    http://www.nappturality.com/forum/index.ph...979&hl=children
    http://www.nappturality.com/forum/in...showtopic=5436

    HTH and Good Luck!

  3. #3
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    Actually if she gets a per.m she may have less growth and damage that she can't repair....
    Karma is a boomerrang that will bust you in the eye.
    PrincessDrRe, 2004
    The grass that is lush and green can very well be growing over a septic tank.
    Anabwi, 2008

    SaPhia...it will return!

  4. #4
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    I am sorry, I realize my post is unclear. I know that giving her a creamy crack treatment will not make her hair grow. She just likes her better when it's straight b/c it's longer..like I have straightened it for her before on special occasions and she loves to wear her hair down. But unfortunately, I have been a c.f.c user all my life until now and I know that has nothing to do with growth...I just need suggestions on how I can her combat dryness and make it grow like it used to when she was younger. I did a search on kids hair growth but most of what I saw was about toddlers or infants not school age girls. I did not know if maybe someone else had experienced this before and had ideas/suggestions... thanks for your feedback

  5. #5
    cutenappygrl Guest

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    Why not try cornrows or braids. When I was 8 I was natural and my hair grew very slowly. I asked for a CFC and got a jerri curl. By age 12 my hair started to get extremely thick and grow faster - but by then I was hooked on the crack. But a few times back when I was nine or ten I did get my hair braided w/ extensions and natural cornrows and I loved them - I felt very confident with them.

  6. #6
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    Why not try cornrows or braids. When I was 8 I was natural and my hair grew very slowly. I asked for a CFC and got a jerri curl. By age 12 my hair started to get extremely thick and grow faster - but by then I was hooked on the crack. But a few times back when I was nine or ten I did get my hair braided w/ extensions and natural cornrows and I loved them - I felt very confident with them.
    [/b]

    I have tried braids before. She doesn't like them very much and it's really hard to get anyone in these parts to do it without doing it too tight around her already thinning edges...She doesn't ask for her hair to be straight as much as she used too, but she had a dance this weekend and I took her to had it flat ironed(which I regretted the whole time) and she is loving it more than she does othewise. I have tried every style I can think of. I just thought if I could get her natural hair to grow longer then she would be just as happy with it, in addition to me trying to help her state of mind.

  7. #7
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    It seems to me that you daughter is at an age when her self-identity is awaken. She is trying to figure out where does she fit into the world that her and her friends live in. Right now their outside appearance is who thay are and how they identify themselves. You can not stop it nor change it. You can only point her in the right direction and allow her to decide to follow or not. You already stated that she wants her hair like her friends, she does not want to be the odd man out. Although you have made the decision not to put the cfc in your hair any more, this is how she is use to seeing you. Have you asked her what she thinks of your hair? This may reveal if what you have been saying is sinking in or going out the other ear. You have to listen to what she is telling you. Now I am advocating that you give her cfc or flatten her hair. Just remember she is not ready to stand out from the crowd her safety net is being mixed in with the crowd. I think it would be great if the young girls, such as your daughter. could get on here and chat with one another. This would let them know it is okay to have these feelings, but more importantly it is okay to be who you are as a person.

    Have you tried banding the hair, a braidout or twistout? Do you massage her scalp? Is she taking vitamins?
    If I say napptural and you say natural, we're talking about the same thing-differently. But if I say natural and you say re.laxer, then one of us is f*ckin wrong.

  8. #8
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    Your daughter is 8 yrs old correct... Then on some level you still decide what she does with her hair. What are your concerns about not letting her have the hair that she wants?

    What about an activity where both of you bring pictures of hair that you would like to see her with and then trying to make some compromise on the style.

  9. #9
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    Sweethoneytwist...You are right, I am sure she is going through discovering who she really is. I think I am so against conformity that I want to make sure that she is loving herself the way she is without really understanding her reasoning behind straight hair...because for some it is just a preference at 8 I don't think she really understands all the "hair/identity issues we as black women face and I don't know maybe I am confusing my journey with her self identity...anyways she said she likes it now but she liked it better when it was long(I have never really had short hair and I did the BC about 1 month ago and I have @ 6months of new growth)

    I have never banded it I would have to search it to see how, I am thinking it's not long enuf..not sure tho'
    I have done a braid out and twist out I am waiting on product now to do that(I waited til i was completely out of everything so I am waiting on Oyin and Qhem).

    @Ellistar...The activity you suggested is a good idea. I guess I agree with you at 8, part of me feels like I am the parent and it should be my decision...but where is the fine line between self expression and her finding her OWN true identity and me helping her love her own napptural self??

  10. #10
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    Maybe a good place to start with her is helping her to love and accept who she is right now. I know that kids experience all of pressure to conform. It is really amazing to me that it is starting at 8 yrs old. I remember it in high school but not in the 3rd grade.

    I am going to do some research to see if I can find some books that are appropriate for girls her age on accepting who you are right now.

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