What makes some ashamed and some so proud of blackness :-/

**Vavoon** · 01-28-2011, 04:59 PM

Originally Posted by lewislover

Yes, you get me totally. I'm still constantly told by my new black friends that i'm 'white' because i speak 'posh' and am a vegitarian :\ ahhhh it grates my nerves

I also don't really like rap or hip hop and one of my friends told me that 'it's in my blood to love hiphop'. This makes me feel isolated especially when my white friends just accept it and don't question it :\

lol aww!! i remember a black guy tellling me i was a white girl from long-island, when i am clearly a black girl who was born and raised in brooklyn! and contemporary hip hop sucks so don't try to tell us that that crap is in our blood! and many rastas are vegetarians - are they not black? ha!

lewislover, don't pay attention to them, they stupid

one of the most valuable lessons i learned is that i don't need any black people to validate or confirm my blackness. no one soul is the emperor/empress of black people and have the prerogative. there are many black women as yourself, you just haven't met them yet!

**lovinDnap** · 01-28-2011, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by moriahsuperstar

Like Denny said, it's a part of the effects of colonialism. The Europeans wanted world domination, and they acquired a lot of land and minds in their quest to do so. In order for one group to be or feel superior, another group has to be made inferior, or at least made to feel like they are. So the fact that there are people of color (globally and from every ethnic demographic) that feel as if they are inferior, less than, and ashamed of what they are is not by accident. It was done systematically over hundreds of years. Now, even if you never see the tv or a subliminal media message, you may still be made to feel inferior due to the ideas of others within your own ethnic group who have bought into that mindset, and will talk about you like a dog the further away you look from European.

Everyone should be proud of what and who they are. I'm sure it's an awful feeling to feel ashamed of what will never ever change, no matter how much skin lightener is used, no matter how many sets of blue contacts are owned, or how long and blonde one's weave is.

ITA. We all know why we feel ashamed of our race from time to time. However, what keeps us at the bottom of the totem pole financially, politically and socially is the collective mental agreement that "black = inferior". "We" continue to dwell in this negative space and all of "us" know that you get what you expect. For black people to progress we all have to do our part to regain pride. Our collective response must not be one of shame or disgust, rather one of pride and awe at the fact that black is truly beautiful. Other races are so very much in awe of what we can accomplish if we practise right thinking....... It's a pity that we just can't see it for ourselves.

**swingbolder** · 01-28-2011, 05:24 PM

Originally Posted by lewislover

I also don't really like rap or hip hop and one of my friends told me that 'it's in my blood to love hiphop'. This makes me feel isolated especially when my white friends just accept it and don't question it :\

When you get older and are out more in the world you will meet other black people who share your interests, and you won't feel so isolated. I used to feel the same as you way back in the 80s when I was a teenager. Then I went to college and had other experiences and met black folks who were:

-into weird music like me
-were vegetarians too

and had a whole host of other interests/hobbies/lifestyles that were not stereotypically black or part of the mainstream of what was considered typically black. And you will too! Just get theeself someplace where there are large numbers of people of different ethnicities and you will see. . . it's a great big world out there. And you will feel way more comfortable in your blackness knowing that you're fine just the way you are.

**Intellexual** · 01-28-2011, 05:29 PM

Most people bend to the group punishments for individual actions/positions, whereas the offensive persons or conduct are not White (or predominant in that region). With that being so, anything that can be stereotyped or identified toward the persecution of a whole will be shunned by those who are exhausted or too weak to fight against the massacres and terrorism which befalls all of us due the actions of a minute few (if any).

As one of my elders noted, "I don't get embarrassed when niggas do things, but white people will kill you if you let them.".

Some people are not going to chalk up their reality to avoid the persecution and others will gladly persecute each other and try to live out or buy themselves an exemption. I think vanity is less compelling than the group punishments that go around incessantly. Part of the self-hating/regulating/oppressing process is shaming. If you won't own the shame, some other negro will gladly do it for you. Someone has to pick up the slack so White folk don't have to turn their heads and find out who is out of line.

If there's actually a crime and it isn't proven to be a White person, laws will change, bombs will fall, and Blacks (or whomever else) will mourn the day (the mourning part is in theory, although most Black people are extra scared). For things less volatile, it's a matter of killing off and/or excusing any identifiable features. It's one thing to have white Barbies and it's a whole 'nother ball game to scrape your friends and loved ones off of pavement. Some folks would rather fight themselves than such a vicious and overwhelming force.

On the flip side, we do have perpetuation, which extends beyond dignity and pride. It's a reasonable repercussion whereas fortitude is being wasted otherwise. The body language and antics of Blacks (the world over) who are waving a white flag continues to evolve (and depend on what that person is trying to get away with doing), but some people are just tired of being Black all together (superficially rather than politically).

**meraki** · 01-28-2011, 05:53 PM

To answer the OP - I guess it depends on how and where you were raised, how people treated you and what your psychological response was. So many factors. Being ashamed of being black seems like such a painful experience. Kudos to those of you who went through it and got past it.

**KellyVonn** · 01-28-2011, 07:40 PM

What makes some ashamed and some so proud of blackness

Ashamed: White Supremacy.

Proud: Knowledge Of Self.

**Himmy** · 01-28-2011, 07:41 PM

AnaisKarim, I agree. My mom dragged us to each and every Martin Luther King, Jr. program known to man when I was growing up. Sometimes we took part in the programs or were host and hostess. My mom was part of the Housing and Urban League committee (even got her name on a building she helped establish), my grandfather helped found a Boys and Girls club in our predominately AA neighborhood...the list goes on and on. I didn't understand it then, but I did as I got older. I blame my mama (mostly cuz I lived with her

) on my becoming so militant. I learned how to be proud of my heritage (ALL OF IT) from my parents and my grandparents. There is nothing like being a woman of color.

**KellyVonn** · 01-28-2011, 07:49 PM

I understand how you feel sis. Growing up I was the only "black" girl in my classes, only "black" girl doing things that " so called typical" "black" people didn't do, was always told I didn't "act" like the rest of the "black" girls! And I was told that by "blacks" that weren't from North America! I figured it was the Michael Jordan affect, he's not a color he's Michael Jordan! Lol!

**Shrugging Shoulders** It's all good. I love being me.

**Himmy** · 01-28-2011, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by KellyVonn

I understand how you feel sis. Growing up I was the only "black" girl in my classes, only "black" girl doing things that " so called typical" "black" people didn't do, was always told I didn't "act" like the rest of the "black" girls! And I was told that by "blacks" that weren't from North America! I figured it was the Michael Jordan affect, he's not a color he's Michael Jordan! Lol!

**Shrugging Shoulders** It's all good. I love being me.

Girl me, too. I use to hear, "You talk white.", on a regular.

Now I just hear..."When you talk, you pronounce every syllable." I guess black foke can't speak "good" English.

**tenachie** · 01-28-2011, 08:00 PM

I can only answer for myself. My childhood was spent in Europe. My parents are West African. I knew I was West African but that was about it. My parents didn't try and indoctrinate me with pride in race nor pride in culture though we did socialize with others from our country. The vast majority of people were white. I learnt nothing (whether positive or negative) about the Black diaspora in school. But I was inundated with those TV images of starving African children. If I think about it, I would have to say I wasn't made to feel ugly, stupid, or inferior by the people or images around me so that's why I'm comfortable being me.

By the time I had returned to Africa and subsequently to the US where people were bound to tell me black people should do this and not that, and are this I already had a solid core...