Law Journal Article: The Hair Dilemma: Conform To Mainstream Expectations Or Emphasize Racial Identity

[Scribetastic]

Everytime someone pops up on the board asking this question I will give the same answer and it is based on over 20 years of working IN Corporate America. I've worn my hair nappy for 12 years - and even when I was still perming, I wore braids.

The reason people are still coming on here in 2007 asking if they should perm their naps for a job interview is because they aren't hearing what I posted enough. These people who are afraid not to straighten their hair need to hear from people who have actually been in the trenches that WE are the ones who care. Your fear lasted longer than it had to because you didn't have someone to break it down and tell you the truth. Black folks are driving all this hooplah about our hair. Lack of self-confidence will hurt your career much more than refusing to fry your hair with Draino.

A lot more women would be unplugged from the Matrix if they talked to people who have actually been nappy in Corporate America rather than reading articles from people who are afraid to try it. But let's not underestimate the fact that plenty of black women don't find natural hair attractive and they can blame it on fear of white folks, but the truth is they'd just rather have long straight hair because some of them just think it looks better and no one gives a rat's butt about their fried hair but them.
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I gotcha. I think we agree more than not. I agree it's a choice. I agree that some black women just don't like and probably will never like nappy hair. However, like they say, "where you stand depends on where you sit". We're coming at the same issues from different perspectives.

But that's the thing. You've been out there for 12 years. I've been out there for about the same amount of time, but my mind was still warped around this "I gotta look this way and I can't look this way" kind of thinking. So you kept rocking it nappy or braiding it. I kept switching back and forth and was scared to death to let anyone see my hair in between getting it braided.

It's just I feel that saying it's merely a choice really slices away the cultural and socialogical underpinnings which makes a lot of us think it's this huge issue when no one really cares but us. Culture and social issues are huge. They can cause high level negotiations to fold. I think to minimize their impact on these daily choices is actually denying a lot of what's going on.

I mean yeah "it's just hair". But for blacks we're talking about a big amount of attention and money being heaped on something that's being characterized as a choice. Choice is part of it, but it's intellectually dishonest to say it's just that.

The counter-point example I use on my blog is a choice is deciding between Chinese chicken salad or Caesar salad. That's an easy choice. However, when I finally got to the enough with hiding my hair, I came to Nappturality, I clicked around, I read some stuff, I went to other sites and it took me a good week to decide "let's do this." But it was how many years of me getting there? The nappy hair choice was hard for me and I'm a pretty smart person. This isn't about intelligence or even self-esteem on some level. I was also a pretty hot mama and I was dating up a storm. However, I'd never let whatever guy I was seeing see my hair between braiding it.

That's freakishly weird and I'm glad I'm out of it, but it's very hard and I know I'm not the only one. That's particularly true if you have no one to turn to for support and advice. It's getting better now, but still. What about those women who don't have net access? If I weren't plugged in, I'd probably STILL be in the Matrix. I think I'd be ready to come out, but who knows?

Salad is an issue free choice. Hair should be, but, for a lot of us, it's not issue free. It should be. It should be that some black women just hate nappy hair and love straight hair.

The choice that a lot of black women face when choosing how to do their hair so loaded with a dislike of nappy hair and a fear of what might happen should they stand up and say enough that choice is such a small part of it, it's kind of sad. The relief I had sporting nappy hair from twists to a wash and go fro has been liberating. I get it now. I didn't get it even two years ago.